i got so fucking scared today.

it will not happen again.

i havent been blogging for days!
LOL.

-
alot of stuff going on in my life.
happy, sad , anger , frustration.
alot.
like i dont even remember anymore.
and its like what,
3 days?
LOL.

dance's good as usual.
haha .
with alot of performances, training.
its really good for me.
and of course,
Floor The Love.
(:
im like, gutsy or what aahaha .
lets just hope i can even pass the selection round.
which i dont think theres a high chance cause everyone is good .
so good.
lol.

hmmm.
you know something?
sometimes,
whenever u do certain stuff,
you always think that you are correct.
but when you present to others,
you always doubt yourself,
and u choose to believe others that theirs are right.
hmm.
why?
lol.
me dont understand.
do you?
im talking in general .
LOL.

friendship friendship.
the things that we do,
the arguments we have .
LOL.
but whatever it is,
we forgive each other in the end.

therefore,
joyce, chin, serene.
whatever happens,
fret not.
we will be supporting each other.
both mentally and physically.

im not a person who will express my feelings.
neither do i openly show my affections.
but that doesnt mean i dont care.
i still love and care for each and all of you out there.
people like, my girls, alison, shijie, kat, sam, nel, kaiwen, andreas, junwei, alex, ben, ryan, gin, bryan, choonhui, michael, nicholas, yizheng, limin, yunning, joanna, loretta, jerhsuan, marcus, robin, jean, meiqi, ah lee, royston, andy, foong, beibei, diana, jasmine koh, audrey, weeming, farhanah, alson.. so many many more.


this are some of the people i care and am concerned for.
but dont think most of them know anyway cause i dont show it.
lol.
( i dont know why the hell i typed the names heh.)
-

anyway,

the guy i probably have to thank is james.
(:
wonderful guy i know.
and i thank him for opening up to me,
and vice versa.
for being there for me,
for waiting up for me.
for being so sweet and understanding.
for the simple and lil things that he do.
(:
its amazing that we knew each other through this space of mine.
im really glad.
and i cherish this so much .
i hope you do.
yes no?
(:

i love you james.
thank you.

it's my turn to dedicate a song .
hahahahaha . (:
couldn't find the imeem sorry .
play the youtube instead . =p
tell her - jesse mccartney .



I know how it feels
To wake up without her
Lying here all alone
Just thinking about her

I can't believe
Her hold on me
It's something indescribable
I know she knows
But won't you please

[Chorus:]
If you see my girl
Just tell her I miss her smile
Tell her I'm counting the minutes
Gonna see her in a little while
I know when she
Holds on to me
She's the one thing that I could never live without
Oh, oh, oh, oh
And tell her I love her

Oh yeah, just tell her I love her
The way that she moves
You know what it does to me
And when I catch her eye
I can hardly breathe

Still can't believe
Her hold on me
She's just so indescribable
I know she knows
But won't you please, please

[Chorus]

Every time that I'm around her
I just go to pieces crashing tumbling to the ground
I'm so glad I found her
I know how it feels

[Chorus]

Oh yeah, just tell her I love her

heh . (:

its a rainy and cold day.
=\

i've got a purple dress yesterday.
hahaha .
-.-

this week is gonna be busy.
zzzz.
oh.
and i saw mr pok ytd.
he's still the same.
hope everything is good , for him.
(:

company law tutorial.
conveyancing law lec and tutorial tml.
zzz.

and dance tomorrow.
(:

okay. im bored.
bye.

i dont like chinese food.
but starbucks hot mocha and bagel made my day a lil better.
(:

i love egg tarts.
its my favourite food along chocolates and anything western .
hahhaa.
random-.-

training was okay.
but not many people though.
but its all good.
LOL.

sometimes,
one thing bad can make my whole day bad.
and one thing good can make me fly up in heavens.
which i think isnt too good. LOL.

i realised when i get upset/angry,
i get this rising surge of anger/emomo.
like suddenly.
and it really drives me crazy.
happened twice.
but i swallowed.
and its gone.
lol.

and to parents out there.
stop being stupid sometimes.
when it comes to boarding a bus/train,
using your kiddo to make your way up that bus/train that
probably wont run away from you simply is downright pathetic.
making your kiddo the passageway to go up,
and taking up the excuse as, ' oh i have a kid with me ! so priority goes to us.'
SERIOUSLY.
fucking selfish.
u might agree/might not.
but i dont care.
conscience.
and that incident happened twice to me.
-.-

on the train back home,
i see this kiddo. probably 2 yrs old.
with her daddy carrying her,
and mommy carrying her stuff.
she reached out to mommy's backpack,
and took out food.
by herself LOL.
and its really cute to see.
(:

and then.
this middle aged malay couple.
packed escalator. so the lady stood one step lower than the husband.
the guy reached out for her to hold his hand.
but instead,
she tickled his palm while smiling and giggling to herself.
i stood on the same steps as her.
and i smiled.
(:

tsk.
must be the after effects of mitch albom's book.
it really got me thinking , after that book.
it made me realised that i should do something to the relationships that i had in my life now.
before i regret anything that comes along the way.
LOL.

long post today.
haha.

(:

joey . 舞 ; popper (: identity. ; ☆ . says (7:52 AM):
buy food?
or at least get bread?
:(

i love my baby ! says (7:48 AM):
LOL .
uhhhhh .
lazy to walk ?
=p
hahaha .

joey . 舞 ; popper (: identity. ; ☆ . says (7:52 AM):
!
are u even lazy to wear your undies , baby?

i love my baby ! says (7:52 AM):
you want to put them on for me ?
LOLLLLLLLLLL .
HAHAHA .

joey . 舞 ; popper (: identity. ; ☆ . says (7:52 AM):
omg YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!


hahahahaha i love you too ! =p

good morning baby it's 6.21 am .
yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn .
(:

I LIKE TO BLOG AT YOUR BLOG LOL . =/
today i went on banana madness .
i ate fresh bananas .
i ate fried bananas .
i ate baked bananas .
i think i am going bananas .
.____________.

and i am still very hungry .
feeeeed me . =p
LOL .

ohmycrap hahahaha i just visited joyce's blog .
THE PHOTOS ARE VERY FUNNY LOL .
BABY COME HOME I WANT TO LAUGH AT YOU .
hahahahahahahhahahahahaha .
=p

been a long time since i've blog. heh .
school's started!
(:

had alot of activities going on since the start of school.
LOL.
and i dont think i can remember every single detail.
except that,
i took alot of time off being alone.
and spending time with myself.
good thing.
(:
LOL.

i went to watch a movie too.
'night in rodanthe' with ally and shijie(:
and the movie's touching.
i almost cried.
zzz.
but its a pretty good movie.
better still if ure a romance buff.
set me thinking alot.
hahahaa.

freestyling session on tuesday was good.
its fun, when everyone's dancing together, cheering each other on.
its good.
and we ended off with OSN.
hahahaa.-.-
our 'Old School Night' .
okay fine.
popping battle.
LOL.

wednesday saw me going to town with ally.
was supposed to go alone, but so happened that she's meeting her friends.
then we had shaved ice at FEP.
dope stuff. (:
and headed over to cine to do some reading ,
before back home alone on long bus ride.
haha.

thursday's dope.
i went to change my CDS.
and guess what .
im that close to changing it.
THAT close.
but i guess the 1/100 slot isnt meant for me after all.
and best part?
i missed my first psychology tutorial.
-.-
met up with nel tt kuku to do up his itunes.
bet he still doesnt know how to use it.
and stop being so panicky, nelson tay-.-
LOL.
after that, was recital training.
hahaa.
its really hilarious.
ryan cleaned up steps,
and many many versions came up.
so funny .
LOL.

and after lesson was even funnier.
i swear i laughed till my jaws ache like hell.
lol.
ryan is really a funny guy.
=X

lol.
there's no school today!
gonna meet up with my friend before probably heading down to session with kw.
(:
and its a rainy + cold day .
zzzz
me dont like!
=\

okay bye.
(:

i can answer for you . (:

yes , i think you're changing .
and you're not being too sensitive or paranoid .
you're just lost in this point of time .
it's irritating right ?
to not know what to do .
but everybody gets lost sometimes .
just find your way slowly .
don't rush things .
it's not that you don't know .
it's because so many things are going out at you at the same time .
you've been so busy there's barely time to think .
and problems keep coming out , you rack your brains trying to solve them .

so take a breather .
take a day or two off your BUSY schedule .
and think hard of what you want in the future .
what you want out of dance .
don't bother what other people think .
don't worry about what your dad's going to say .
or how your family will react .
it's your life .
don't let others decide .
because if you do , even if you're doing it to avoid conflicts .
ask yourself - will you really be happy ?
besides , the person typing this out would gladly support you in anything that you do .
unless it involves other guys then no , you're on your own .
hahahahahahhahahaha .

alternatively , if you can't think .
come talk to me because i'd be more than happy to skip school and skip work for you .
and we can have a long long chat ( WITH KISSES ) .
about you and your surroundings and your future .
hehehehehe .
sounds good right .
=p

oh if you ask me what i think you'll be in the future .
i am 9999999999% sure it's related to dance .
especially popping .
maybe a part-time job to support yourself .
or maybe you'll marry a rich man so you don't need to work .
( HAHA I'M RICH . )
but one thing's for sure .
i know you won't stop dancing .

and i will always love you for who you are .
(:


- james .

sometimes,
all you need is just one person.
to make your day all cheerful and happy.
-

i bought 4 tops today.
all dancewear.
(:
and it feels great to just shop around.
i had lavender mik tea today.
dope stuff.
though it tastes like yam milk tea LOL.
and i think im becoming more adventurous .
drinking smth different from my routine drink.
LOL.
(:

i havent mentioned that,
the old uncle and auntie at lido on sunday made me smile.
and this boy whom i saw on the train.
listening to his ipod probably, and being in his own world,
oblivious to the surroundings.
he made me smile too.
i wonder when i would be like him.
(:

i have alot of questions.
bout myself,
bout the surroundings.
and of course, the future.
i need to know my direction.
and probably what i want.
i kept questioning myself.
and i wanted self discovery.
but its not working. i think its time i asked someone else.

im really weird, i find myself.
am i changing?
or am i just being too sensitive/paranoid ?

can you even answer that for me?
thank you very much, if you know.

i'm grounded .
for dancing too much.
lol-.-

but anyway i know it wont be long before i will do the same stuff again.
lol.

i cant go for recital and chin's house.
just had to stay with my mom.
zzz.
went for a movie, and ate.
then back home.

i dont know why,
but i get pretty weird nowadays.
like...
buying 2 books with weird content.
and eating at odd hours.
lol.

school's starting tomorrow.
probably a lil time off after school to unwind myself.
i need time alone.
hahaa.

so friends,
im sorry if im acting all weird.
lol.
hormones.
ahaha.
=x

hello baby .
i miss you .
you're probably still out popping or session-ing right now .
but i just want to say i'm sorry for what happened yesterday .
i don't know why we ended up talking like that .
i'm sorry .
love you still .

me and li ting. ass man. i look bald here cause my CAP is with andreas !

i miss my HH2 babies! the photo below shows the beautiful breakfast they made for us. so sweet. i almost teared when i saw it (:

after performance . (:

im acting retarded. ignore me.=x
i look like some wtf hamster/kiddo here. HAHAHA.
' hello mr frankie , can i say smth?' *with a very bored nelson with his midriff*

LOL.

(:


mixed emotions.

all put into one.

i dont like.

=\

i missed my babies.

oh man lets hope the arts fest thingy comes soon.

heh .

(:

i swear im going to pen down my thoughts later or smth.

zzzz.

oh.

and i had a weird dream just now.

mmm.

weirdddddd.

=x

so sickening.
i thought about alot of stuffs.
just when i wanted to pend it down,
i lost the willingness to write everything.
lol.

feeling kinda happy, and moody at the same time.
funny at how certain things make you feel this way.
lol.

today's been the day i rushed like mad .
all for this bunch of people called HH2.(:

okay.
gonna blog later.
LOL.

everyday's been so hectic.
with trainings for the juniors,
and taking time off to think of whatever methods we can,
to bring our message across to the juniors.
what we wanna portray, and our steps .
i've definitely learnt alot.
in managing people.
not only through dealing with our items.
but also mentally.
how to encourage them,
how to motivate them.
how to make them enjoy grooving, and reggae ,
and not be brought down by the techniques involved.

im really glad to see that they've grown within these 3 weeks.
countless hours together, sweating like pigs.
sacrificing whatever time they had.
just to train. and do their best.
sometimes, we might not say it out.
but we feel for them.
knowing they are twice as tired as us too.
and its because we seniors had been through that stage.
so we know.
and im glad they are learning.

my hiphop2 babies.(:

tivona, audrey, hong ling, wee ming, hui ting, nicole, mevalia and fion.

my reggaeton babies(:

hakeem, audrey, eulene, sha sha, fas, huijing and siti.

love you all.
i really had fun teaching all of you.
remember the stupid ways i used to teach you guys .
hhaa.
and thanks.
for enduring us.
(:
-

its back to school again.
im gonna suffer from fatigue if i dont rest.
with this whole 2 months dancing my ass off.
(not that im complaining)
and with the amount of school work i can imagine myself having.
i should start planning.

-
i thought alot.
alot.
bout stuff that are not necessary.
but i cant help it.
zzz.
what am i talking bout.
-

and im really sorry.
maybe this is why they dumped me too, back then.
because of my commitments, and i dont have time to spare for them.
are you going to be like them too?

-

long post.

goodbye world.

im tired.

but im still enduring for my bouncy&groovy and my reggae-ers.
i really want them to shine on stage, and feel dance.
but do they have the same goal as me?
dont know.

my back is gonna give way anytime.
so scary.
this is 2nd time it hurt so badly.
i remembered the first time it hurt,
its like crazy.
i shivered , and cant control my body.-.-
i hope i'll be fine.
i will. anyway.
(:

dance later at 9am.
sometimes,
its the priority/commitment thingy u had to overcome.
zzzz.

bye world.

joey . 舞 ; popper (: identity. ; ☆ . says (7:32 AM):
did she touch you!
LOL

Bboy James says (7:33 AM):
omg someone's protective .
LOL .
HAHAHAHA .

joey . 舞 ; popper (: identity. ; ☆ . says (7:35 AM):
whatt
IM JUST ASKINGGGGGGGG
=X

Bboy James says (7:35 AM):
HAHAHA OH YA RIGHT .
LOL .

joey . 舞 ; popper (: identity. ; ☆ . says (7:35 AM):
yes!

Bboy James says (7:35 AM):
=X
hahah so funny .

joey . 舞 ; popper (: identity. ; ☆ . says (7:35 AM):
u never answer me!
lol

joey . 舞 ; popper (: identity. ; ☆ . says (7:36 AM):
so she touched you
huh

Bboy James says (7:36 AM):
of course she didn't touch me . -.-

joey . 舞 ; popper (: identity. ; ☆ . says (7:36 AM):
huh
huh

Bboy James says (7:36 AM):
lol .

joey . 舞 ; popper (: identity. ; ☆ . says (7:36 AM):
huh

Bboy James says (7:36 AM):
HAHAHAHAHA .
first time i've seen you jealous .
interesting .

joey . 舞 ; popper (: identity. ; ☆ . says (7:39 AM):
LOL
im not jealousssss
okay
just askingggg
hahaa

Bboy James says (7:39 AM):
so funny .
=p
and if i said yes ?

joey . 舞 ; popper (: identity. ; ☆ . says (7:39 AM):
hahahhaaa.

joey . 舞 ; popper (: identity. ; ☆ . says (7:40 AM):
hmmmm
i'll get upset.
duh!
lol

Bboy James says (7:40 AM):
like how .
LOL .

joey . 舞 ; popper (: identity. ; ☆ . says (7:40 AM):
not talk to you.=x

Bboy James says (7:40 AM):
you gonna slap her huh .

joey . 舞 ; popper (: identity. ; ☆ . says (7:40 AM):
hhahhahahaa

Bboy James says (7:40 AM):
lol .
what if she touched me it's not my fault !
LOL .

joey . 舞 ; popper (: identity. ; ☆ . says (7:41 AM):
but if you let her touch you then its your fault!
=x

Bboy James says (7:41 AM):
what if she touched me before i could pull away .
LOL .

joey . 舞 ; popper (: identity. ; ☆ . says (7:41 AM):
okay then i'll battle
her
HAHAHHAHAAA
=x

Bboy James says (7:41 AM):
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA .


what a funny girl LOL .


joey . 舞 ; popper (: identity. ; ☆ . says (7:44 AM):
lol yes
and ure the only guy i love . hahahaa


sweet too !

i'm frequenting your blog more than mine now .
and i am very bored .
and sick .
and sleepy .
and head aching-y .

joey ,
come home come home come home ,
run home run home run home ,
run duck and run duck and run duck and ,
RUN HOMEEEE .

LOL WHAT A FUNNY SONG .

so,
its all good.
i suppose.

sessioned yesterday.
stupid alex.
go for wushu then never join me!
=x
anyway, had fun .
made new friends. and productive .
lol.
im slowly showing my style.
joey's style.
(:

training w juniors is good too.
but they need to be more confident though.
i guessed we were like them last time,
but there's always a first time.
so work hard guys!
go groovy people.
(:

oh and i swore i laughed my ass off yesterday.
right jeremy?
(:

-

i want to eat chocolates.
i want pancakes+ loads of maple syrup+ apple juice+coffee.
i want donuts.
i want french fries.
i want junk food.
i want subway.

and i want you here.
lol.

thanks for everything
(:

-

im boreddddd.
=x

hello .
the boyfriend is here again .
heh .

happy 7th baby . (:
thankyou , for everything .
for rushing home .
for staying up late .
for listening to my crap when i'm emo and JEALOUS .
HAHAHA .
i love you .

i know it's been a tough week for you .
but because today's the 7th .
no frowning okay !
i don't want you to come home later and blog something emo again .
i will pull your cheeks and force you to smile .
hahahaha .
it's a hard time but i'll help you pull through .
promise . =p

don't say sorry and apologize to me .
when bad things happen and it's not your fault .
it's okay when you don't have enough time for me .
i know you're a very busy person .
pop pop pop pop pop pop . lol .
you don't even have time for yourself .
and you've made so many sacrifices to continue doing what you love .
i understand that .
so i'm content with whatever time you can spare for me .
no matter how little .
just bear with me sometimes .
because i really miss you .
lol .

i'll be here when you need me .
even if you don't feel like talking again .
i'll wait until the next morning .
and the next . and the next .
so that when you're ready to talk .
you know where to find me .
heh .

i love youuuuu .
very much .
happy 7th . (:

funny funny world.
full of ironies , and contradicting stuff.

i think i know what im feeling.
probably.

i guess i need to overcome myself.
the mental block in me.
to tell myself.
everything would be alright.

i love self discoveries.
to find out more bout myself.
and i didnt know that im like this.
turning so negative.
self esteem going lower and lower.
lol.

im just stuck, at this point in dance life.
i dont know what to do.
how to get out of it and stuff.
and i need to open myself.

nevermind.
-

recital training's fun yesterday.
dope stuff.
and sessioned my ass off.
it helped though.
got me thinking again.

i think i wanna know what im good at.
i feel i suck.
everything.
am i even good at all?


zzz.
at home,
im always the last to know bout whats going on.
it occurred to me that i have a part to play.
but ,
where did all the love and concern go?
my back is hurting now,
and im alone in my room.
keeping quiet.

just what the fuck is going on?
nevermind.
bye.

this would probably be the lowest point on my life.
each time im picking myself up,
there are things throwing me off the rope im hanging on.
and now im thrown off the rope i've just got on.

i hate this.
-

recital training on saturday woke me up a little.
and made me understand certain stuff.

whenever we dance, we dont need a studio.
we dont need people to look at us.
we dance because we love it.
and not because of the commitments we have ,
or whatever expectations we are trying to hit.

the dance represents her.
on how she love dance.
and by not being showy for that dance.
doesnt matter whether u looked good or ugly.

i just need to groove for that piece.
why has it become so difficult all of a sudden?

i felt like crying in that class, and i burst after that.

feel stressed,
feel emotionally attached to that piece.
unable to get out of it.
my future.
how do i go about reaching my goals?
do i really want it?
but are there people helping me?
fucked up questions i cant even answer myself.

whats wrong with me?
why am i so problematic nowadays.
=\

the world comes crashing down ,
when u feel sucky and when ur facing sucky moments now.
its true.

the best part?

when i took a bus home to sort out my thoughts,
the bus broke down in tampines.
and when everyone , except a small grp of passengers were on board,
the bloody ass driver drove off with the small group of passengers on the bus.
is that even called vehicle broke down
.
-.-

its really.
annoying.

stop being so irritating, joey.
get a life.

booo .
joey's always busy with her dance dance dance .
and especially her pop pop pop .
so i shall be a nice boy and update for her .

YESTERDAY .
she reached home at 1:00 am .
( don't blame her it's always like this lol )
i think she danced the entire day .
cause she's doing some item for her juniors .
I THINK ONLY .
LOL .
anyway yes .
when i ask her how's her day .
she will reply me with " tiring . but fun as usual . "
then she'll ask me how's MY day .
and i'll reply her with " tiring . but not fun as usual . "
=p =p =p

okay to whoever is in her item please do a good job kay .
she stayed up till really late to mix songs for you guys .
( her late = 4am . and she has to be back in the studio at 9am . )
( and thankyou to dope meichin who helped her that night LOL . )
even though she's tired and sweaty .
sweaty , but not smelly kay !
i know she smells nice everyday hehehehe .
and raaaah she just sleeps very late .
plus she has her problems but she has to pretend nothing's wrong .
she continues teaching so that you guys can put up a good show .
worst of all ,
she talks to me so little ! ! ! !
EMO .
:(

don't make her sacrifice for nothing .
she's done her part .
it's your turn now , give it your best . heh .
i don't know when's it held but best of luck to you guys !

and that officially ends my post .
oh man i am so bored and falling asleep .
WHERE ARE YOU JOEY !?!
COME HOMEEEEEEEEEEEEE .
LOL .

john klass ; when things seems so wrong.

When you’re in doubt
Trying to keep all fears out
The tears you hide
You’ll only cry inside

Things happen for a reason
It isn’t easy to accept
You think all hope is gone
But it really hasn’t left

Chorus
*When things seem so wrong
You’ve got to hang on
Just pick up the pieces
And look right ahead
Don’t give up cause instead
Things aren’t so wrong

When the road ahead
Seems so uncertain
And all you do
Seems to crumble & fall

Troubles, they’ll come and go
Tho’ the mem’ries will last
If you stay right on hurtin’
Time will still pass .

this song is sent to me by a person whom showed me kindness.
teaching me things.
thanks(:

i've let go, cause im too tired to hang on.
but , i learnt to fall, and stand again.
(:

things will never be clear to the naked eye.
look closer.
come into my world.
and u'll understand.
if you're even interested.
lol.

im reaching 18 in dec.
and im still 17 +.
why is that i face so much?
probably more than what others at my age faces.
funny.


updates later.
probably.