another long day for me today .
yesterday was worse.
lol.

went for pop culture auditions.
not too good.
guessed it was all awkward.
shall not blame anything/anyone .
lol.
its all up to them to decide whether they want us .
and omg .
the judge terrence looked super like ROBIN.
crazily alike.
lol.

and speaking of being crazily alike,
kaiwen, andy and me took a bus to victoria street to have dinner before i go for lyrical class on thursday.
and in the bus ,
we saw someone that looked crazily alike a person that used to be a close friend.
its like, 99% alike.
whenever we looked at the person.
we will get freaked out .
LOL.

had training the whole day on sunday.
damn tiring .
lol.
-

after the auditions today,
went for recital full dress.
lol.
its good.
and my fav costume is popping's.
hahahaaaa.
tshirt and baggy jeans.
comfy.
(:
i like LA's costume too.
sleek.
(:

then sessioned awhile , and headed home .
cause i wanna study .
HAHAHA.
but i got really tired today .
LOL.
-

and dope to the 2 lyrical jazz dancers who continued despite getting injured during the dance.
i like their professionalism.
finishing the dance before seeking help.
i dont know how the hell it happened.
but they are really dope.
(:

i wanna dance modern again.
ryan!
modern class soon(:
haha.

-
one more week to term tests.
i need to buck up, and stay focused!
zzz.
my time management really sucked to the max.
=.=
-

waiting for james to come home .
lol.

-
great .
just argued with my dad.
fuck.

im tireddddd.
lol.
but i'll blog since love asked me to.
hahaha.
(:

-

its gonna be a tiring day later.
training till late LOL.
and popculture auditions is on sunday!
lol
(:

-

i love my friends.
i love everyone.
i love james.
ahhahaa.

tired.
goodnight.
hahahaa.

one more month to my birthday .
would be alone from 25-29th dec.
family leaving for malaysia.
LOL.

im turning 18.
=\

-

hate it when people brings up things that i've forgotten , and had let go of .
and now im reminded of it again.
bad times are coming.
:(

James says:
heh yeah .
what's the tattoo ?

joey . 舞 ; popper (: ; ☆ . says:
i dont know yet LO
LOL

James says:
LOL
don't come back to me and show me a huge dragon across your back i will shout LOL .

joey . 舞 ; popper (: ; ☆ . says:
ahahhahaha crazy boy
lol

James says:
LOL .

joey . 舞 ; popper (: ; ☆ . says:
maybeeee
'dance'
in another language
lol

James says:
hahahaa
like what .
french ?

joey . 舞 ; popper (: ; ☆ . says:
dont know? heee.

James says:
lol .
that's nice .
(:
haaaa you're getting a tattoo before me .
=/

joey . 舞 ; popper (: ; ☆ . says:
heeeee.
u want one too?
lol

James says:
yeah !
you forgot ! :(
lol .

joey . 舞 ; popper (: ; ☆ . says:
ahahhahahahahaa dragon?=x
LOLOLOL

James says:
NO ASS .
LOL .
i want one that says SPIN .
(:

joey . 舞 ; popper (: ; ☆ . says:
ooooooooooooooooooooo
hahahaahhaa
come.
i'll write for u
where u want it?
LOL

James says:
LOL .
LOL .
HAHAHAHAHHAA .
on . . . . . . .
._.
HAHA !

joey . 舞 ; popper (: ; ☆ . says:
EH
DONT BE NAUGHTY.
AHAHAHHAHAHAHAA

James says:
HAHAHAHAH WTF WHAT NAUGHTY .
YOU HORNY HUH .
LOL .
I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING .

joey . 舞 ; popper (: ; ☆ . says:
EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
WHAAAAAAT
LOL

James says:
HAHAHAHAHA ,

joey . 舞 ; popper (: ; ☆ . says:
ASSSSSSSSSS
HAHAAHAHA

James says:
LOL .

joey . 舞 ; popper (: ; ☆ . says:
not bad okay . ur tattoo done by your girlfriend
HAHHA

James says:
YEAH MAN SO EXCITING HAHAHAHA !

joey . 舞 ; popper (: ; ☆ . says:
HAHAHAHHAA okayyyyy come here.
so
i can draw on you LOL
with PURPLE INK
AHHAHA

James says:
omg .
LOL .
DON'TBE NAUGHTY .

joey . 舞 ; popper (: ; ☆ . says:
EH I DIDNT SAY ANYTHING
HORNY HUH
HAHAHHAHHA

James says:
WHAT LOL .
HAHAHA .

joey . 舞 ; popper (: ; ☆ . says:
tsk tsk.
james!
lol

James says:
hehehe joey .
LOL !

(:

this two photos will go down memory lane .

(:

im currently now at library level 5, research lab blogging,
while waiting for joyce.
and opposite me are a couple, who is very very goddamn irritating.
they kissed and kept peering over , thinking that im looking at them.
like HELLO.
LOL.

so irritatinggg AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
and disturbing each other now.
LOL.
omgwtfbbq.
=x

im off to get contacts now.
heh .


and ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
james james jamessssss.

i dont wanna wait till my birthday!
tell me now now now NAOOOOOOO.
lol.
=x


okay im being irritating.
bye.
(:

didnt attend recital training.
my hand's still swollen.
and its painful.
zzz.

went out with mom to town.
saw alot of interesting things.
it was hot in the afternoon.
but it rained all of a sudden.
-.-

went to eat,
and walk around.
met this american that has a nice tattoo on his hand.
LOL.
then we talked bout tattoos.
mom and i gonna get one.
wanted one for my 18th birthday.
but she's not prepared yet-.-
and bro's getting piercing.
LOL.
he was THAT close to getting one just now.
HAHAHA.

it rained.
then .
i saw this couple.
american and asian i think.
( not because my boyfriend's american, but i just noticed it)
the guy wore a cap, and the girl's trying to cover herself from the rain.
but then , the guy took off his cap, and put it on the girl's head.
for a moment , she looked funny. with the cap.
but i thought it was sweet though.
heh .

i missed dancing.
although i like the pace im going now,
i would much prefer my busy schedule.
LOL.
and time to catch up on studies.
-

took a personality test in psycho class.
im rated an I, together with all my groupmates.
LOL.
i need to be focused. but i've got good oral presentation skills.
according to what he says.
(:
joyce says im influencing, friendly, sociable, loves attention.
traits of an I .
HAHAHAA.

waiting for boyfriend to come online now.
im thankful that he's here.
even though he's far far away.
LOL.
funny that he can understand me.
(:

-

one more month, 4 more days to 18.
one year older.
zzz.

james is exactly 11 more months older than me.
ahaha.
random.
=x

its a long post.
haha .
-
i admire people like joyce and frank,
sam and kaiwen,
iris and andreas.

sometimes i imagine.
me sitting with him.
talking bout everything.
looking at stars.
and just being there for each other.
and at those times,
im sure it gets pretty hard on both of us.
but we've lasted 4 months.
and the coming 5th.
so,
it proves something isnt it?
LOL.
i dont know why im talking bout this.
but maybe i missed him.
do you, james?
(:

still waiting for him.
gonna go listen to some music.

be back soon.
(:

tprawks show.
i like this photo.

LOL.

zzz.

went to sinseh in the morning for hand.
lol.
damn painful.
=\

given packet of pills and my elbow's bandaged.
LOL.
damn painful.
arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

and its 5pm now.
and its swollen .

and i cant go for recital training cause ive got a wedding dinner to attend which i completely forgotten about.
and with my hand like this.
i doubt i'll have fun.
zzz.

and im really sorry to bei and the gang.
:(
i cant go over cause of the wedding dinner and all.
ZZZZ.

frustrating.

and its hurting badly now.
-.-

to the post below .




I CAN .
(:

can you protect me?

Can you stay the night?
I haven’t trouble sleeping
I’m struggling to find a way to make it through the day
Can you save a life?
I think I lost that feeling
I’m reaching for a dream that seems to be slipping away
I’m like the sun that just won’t shine

Can you protect me?
I need your words now
My head is filled with doubt
Tell me it’ll be alright
Can you protect me?
My heart’s on lock down
It’s a lonely road and I’m to drunk to drive
Can you protect me?

I’m carrying the world, on my expectations
I’m trying to be everything and now I’m left in pieces
Wash away the hurt
Give me inspiration
Open up a window to a view of something beautiful
Oooohhhh

Can you protect me?
I need your words now
My head is filled with doubt
Tell me it’ll be alright
Can you protect me?
My heart’s on lock down
It’s a lonely road and I’m to drunk to drive
Can you protect me?

Oh, tell me I’m not crazy
Tell me that I’m beautiful
Tell me that you’ll carry me home
When I fall

Can you protect me?
I need your words now
My head is filled with doubt
Tell me it’ll be alright
Can you protect me?
My heart’s on lock down
It’s a lonely road and I’m to drunk to drive
Can you protect me?

-

can you?

for the past few days, or maybe the past week,

i feel like im at the bottom of this pit.
and i felt helpless.
not loved.

i thought u would be here to provide assurance.
and pull me up again.
even though i didnt tell you. but i guessed u would figure it out from my writings.
but no, i guess it didnt show.

all i need .
is for assurance.

sorry i've changed to a different person.

-

gonna go out for a walk alone later.
will do me good.

to guest :

why do u have so much faith in me.
and who exactly are you?

lol.

TPDE lockers.(: dope junji who came down despite fever(:

hahaa. FTL logo lol. daniel's , jer's , mine and junwei's .

Junwei. partner for popping and he's 21 LOL!

dope guy i've seen. please take care okay . i asked u to join FTL with me cause we've chemistry . its proven isnt it? (:

jeremy . dope dancer. he's only like 16 years old. LOL. =x

thanks for helping me in any way okay . even when i feel not confident , u will always catch hold of me., and bring me back on pace. thanks. J Soul represent! (:

im so tired.
i need a break LOL.
anyway dance is going smooth.
esp after FTL.
and time to buck up on my studies.
LOL.

i'll talk more.

just did an opening show for tprawks.
and then helped out for tprawks dance workshop LOL.
tomorrow's jam & hop performance.
so tiring! LOL.

guess im gonna sleep soon hahhaa.
im tired.
LOL.

bye!

love you still .
(:

fuck it.

screw the person who stole my phone.



i feel like throwing all my vulgarities out .

thanks for making my day worse.


fucking bad mood now.


every little sentence means something to me.
say im sensitive, or what.
i dont give a damn.

-

its not that i dont wanna train hard.
its not that i dont wanna improve.
but i dont have all the time in the world.
i have other dance commitments.
they dont.

-

that sentence really shot straight into my heart.

the insecurities sets in.
the dark matters are covering me.
very soon.

let me soak in it.
and drown.

i feel non existent.



-
why do i sound like alex in his emomo posts.
LOL.
-




rob- strobin marchine - we are ready ! says:
it is difficult to be able to do all genre

rob- strobin marchine - we are ready ! says:
u can practice all genres

rob- strobin marchine - we are ready ! says:
but when it comes to freestyle

rob- strobin marchine - we are ready ! says:
the lines is difficult to maintain

rob- strobin marchine - we are ready ! says:
but

rob- strobin marchine - we are ready ! says:
after watching u in suntec

rob- strobin marchine - we are ready ! says:
for so many rds

rob- strobin marchine - we are ready ! says:
i felt

rob- strobin marchine - we are ready ! says:
u are improving , in a balance pace

rob- strobin marchine - we are ready ! says:
for all genres

rob- strobin marchine - we are ready ! says:
we are proud of u when we see u on the stage of suntec


rob- strobin marchine - we are ready ! says:
u earn some , u have to lose some

rob- strobin marchine - we are ready ! says:
dont worry

rob- strobin marchine - we are ready ! says:
next time our gathering jio u ok ?

rob- strobin marchine - we are ready ! says:
then u come and hv fun with us.

this,
for a moment .
made me realise so much.

i didnt know he's proud of me.
i didnt know certain people out there are proud of me.

-


achievements( personal or not) vs. close friendship bond.

which one will you choose?

Floor the Love 2008

FTL is finally over.
lol.
not that i want it to be over,
but its torturing me somehow.
LOL.

my first battle in 18 years ( if u dont count the graduation course popping battle)
i felt like im finally doing the right thing.
and stepping out of my box.
im glad to see my friends all present .
taking part in what they are good at.
lol.
esp yanhui and rachel.
they've improved so much.
and this serves as a reminder for me to buck up.
(:

and hiphop was dope too.
although my first round was against an and hei,
i thought it was good.
because i know i wanted to face them someday.
and it just came earlier than expected .
LOL.
but its all good.
respect for hei.
(:

thanks to everyone who cheered for me,
and for the countless encouragements.
it really helped alot.
and to my hh2 babies.
thanks so much for the mini ' medicine kit'
lol.

-
had recital training after that.
super tiring for me.
and i realised i haven't eaten anything since 10am in the morning .
lol.
all the way to 6 plus .
where melise's donut saved me .
LOL.
-

i realised i've never ever felt full happiness before.
everyday,
i always face certain unhappiness in my heart.
today's one of the usual days.
and its like,
at the back of my heart,
there is always something unhappy that makes me upset.
i dont know.
i took the train home with the rest today.
and many thoughts came into my mind.
my performance today.
my existing problems.
my family.
my friends.
this had been affecting me for a long time.
and im sick of it already.
its affecting my personality.
fuck it .
fuck everything.

i had a long day today.
just bear with me.
to whoever that thinks im weird or whatever.

bye.

its today.
im gonna just enjoy myself.
no hopes.
but to show what i've got.

i wanna do people proud.
and im glad gin's proud of us repping TPDE.
cause it matters alot to me.
heh .

and like what james said,
its time to show my instructors how much i've grown within these 1 year of hiphop.

i will do my best.
cheer not for me going up.
but cheer that i've taken the first step out of comfort zone.
(:

joey joey joey.
do your best,
and prove to yourself that u can do it.
(:

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

STUPID NURSES.

im so fucking angry.
cant believe i left the hospital crying in anger.
damnit.

stop pushing me around from room to room.
me being younger doesnt mean u can push me around like some dumb fool, assholes.
in the first place, if im not in PAIN,
WHY WOULD I GO TO SEE YOU BEFORE MY APPT DATE?
U THINK I LIKE THE HOSPITAL SO MUCH THAT IM SO EAGER TO SEE YOU ALL ISIT?
AND BITCH.
STOP SMILING AT ME , AND SAY THAT THE DOCTOR HAS 21 PATIENTS TO ATTEND TO AND DOESNT NOT HAVE TIME FOR ME AND ASK ME TO COME BACK AGAIN.
AND TO ANOTHER BITCH, STOP TELLING ME TO COME BACK IN FEB 2009 BECAUSE IF I CAN TAKE IT,
I WOULDNT BE HERE LOOKING FOR THAT GODDAMN DOCTOR THAT ISNT FREE TO SEE ONE MORE PATIENT.
AND BLOODY HELL DONT TELL ME ALL THE DOCTORS ARENT FREE.
AND TO ANOTHER ANOTHER BITCH, STOP ASKING ME WHAT THE A&E PEOPLE TOLD ME BECAUSE I ALREADY SAID THEY REFERRED ME HERE AND THE BLOODY DOCTOR IN THE POLYCLINIC TOLD ME TO GO A&E IF I CANT TAKE IT BUT IN THE END WHAT HAPPENED ? THEY ASKED ME TO GO UP TO SPECIALIST CLINIC ONLY TO BE FURTHER INTERROGATED BY YOU ALL. ASSHOLES.

AND HOW MANY BLOODY TIME HAVE I SAID IM IN PAIN, AND I WANNA SEE A DOCTOR NOW. SO U ALL TAKE IT THAT IM WHINING RIGHT .
AND SO IT DOESNT MATTER THAT MY HAND IS STILL NUMB AFTER ONE WEEK AND WHEN IT BECOMES SO SWOLLEN , I CAN SAY ITS CGH'S FAULT RIGHT?
OKAY SO IM GONNA JUST WAIT TILL FEB 2009 TO COME , AND THEN I WILL SHOW THEM MY STILL-NUMB HAND AND SAY 'THERE YOU GO, MY NERVE IS DAMAGED AND DONT SAY U CANT REPAIR IT BECAUSE I CAME SEEKING FOR HELP BUT NO BLOODY FUCK CAME TO HELP ME , AND WITH 2 NURSES SMILING AT ME TO GO HOME . WOW. I THINK U NEED TO RETRENCH UR NURSES.'

JUST BECAUSE IM ALONE LOOKING FOR A DOCTOR DOESNT MEAN U CAN JUST CLIMB OVER MY HEAD , AND TELL ME TO GO HOME CAUSE THE DOCTORS ARENT FREE TO SEE ME.

fuck it.
i even go to the extent of buying an elbow guard.
-.-

nevermind.

its a ranting post btw so if u have read this, please forget it and close this window thank you.

its 3 days left.
i guess i needed assurance.
and plenty of confidence now.
considering it dropped a lil.
=\

im pretty worried bout it too.
like,
i dont wanna lose form.
i wanna maintain .
and make myself, and others proud of me.
like what james says,
its time to show my instructors how much i've grown.
LOL.

and school work is killing me .
its not that i dont wanna do them,
but rather i dont have the time for it yet.
but im rather determined to push up my GPA this sem.
i want to, anyway.
(:

and at this point of time ,
i dont wanna get sick or injured.
but it happened anyway.
stupid hand.
and my knee. i feel like its giving way during dolphin dive.
LOL.
and yes theres a lump on my left knee.
i wonder why all bad things come together.
=\

gonna go to A&E later.
just to check my bloody hand.
i really hope its okay.
im not gonna bow out at this moment .
lol.
-

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOYCE (:

you've been a really great friend.
i appreciate all the small thoughts by you.
and the hugs that u offered me .
i dont have to tell you im upset,
u'll know when u see me.
thanks for everything, dear girl.
if im not in RHR,
i wouldnt know you,
and the rest .
thank you to RHR too.
(:
our friendship's still going strong.
and im sure it will last.(:

-

and to you.
im a lil disappointed .
its like,
i thought we were close.
but i guess im wrong.
we were close cause of that.
but now its gone,
it seemed to me that im not impt anymore.
maybe u preferred to be alone.
maybe you chose to.
but whatever it is,
you made me hurt.
and .
the feeling sucks.
prolly u dont know that i treated you as a very close friend of mine.
but i hoped you would be a lil sensitive to me.
im still a girl.
im saying these, because this is the 2nd time.
nevermind.
take it that i portray myself as not sensitive.
-

alot of unhappy thoughts.
alot of uncertainty.
is this what life is meant to be?
:(

its been a long time since i blogged!
heh .
=x

so many things going on, till i kinda forget the events that happened.
but, its been all good.
(:

major events coming up would be FTL and TPrawks performance.
hahaha.
its day 6 already.
counting down to FTL lol.
and, im really scared.
but owell.
just go have fun .
=X

and i think i needa rest .
body condition's not too good.
with my hand like this.
and my back.
zzz.

school's okay for me i guess.
with a relaxed timetable, i guess its better for me too.
and it will motivate me to push up my grades this sem .
probably.
ahaha.
(:

okay .
off to do work now.
while waiting for james to come home.
(:

bye!

Dear Joey ,

today is a special day . (:
it's the seventh .
sorry , i wanted to wish you on the dot , but i counted the hours wrongly .
you see , i love math but math hates me .
hahahaha .

i love you , very much .
thank you for everything .
four months now , we're still going strong .
remember april fool's ?
hahahaha .
oh and how you became a penguin ?
and our jumper fantasies !
=p

you must remember to take your meals everyday okay .
at the right timing ! (not past midnight)
and also take good care of your back .
and your hand .
see .
you're in bad shape and i'm not around to take care of you .
don't be stubborn okay !
take care of yourself while i'm not there .
or i will nag and nag and nag and nag - which you love anyway .
heh !

i don't know why you're so sweet nowadays .
and i think i've pointed that out to you a hundred times .
but i want to tell you that i appreciate the things you do for me .
no matter how small .

i'll continue to wait for you to come home every night .
you like that right ? (:
even if you deny it .
i know you're happy because i'm one of the very few people who would do that for you .
and i'll cheer you up when you're sad .
no matter how tired i am i'll make sure that after talking to me you're happy again .

yesterday you asked me why i'm so nice to you .
it's because i love you my pretty baby .
(:

Love ,
James .

okay . says (8:38 AM):
you'll sleep with me right baby .

joey . 舞 ; popper (: identity. ; ☆ . says (8:39 AM):
yes darling. whatever you say.
(:
anyway right!.

okay . says (8:39 AM):
lol you make me sound like i'm forcing you hahaha .

joey . 舞 ; popper (: identity. ; ☆ . says (8:39 AM):
serene and joyce kissed me on the cheek just now
LOL
noooo.

okay . says (8:39 AM):
WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF .

joey . 舞 ; popper (: identity. ; ☆ . says (8:39 AM):
i will go with you
YES
MY FIRST OKAY.
LOL

okay . says (8:39 AM):
OMG ME JEALOUS .
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE .

okay . says (8:40 AM):
wtf wtf .
LOL .

joey . 舞 ; popper (: identity. ; ☆ . says (8:40 AM):
HAHAHAHAA i screamed when they kissed me
-.-
super sensitive can
AND ITS MY FIRST.
LOL

okay . says (8:42 AM):
omg are you gonna scream when i kiss you . . . . . . .
-.-

joey . 舞 ; popper (: identity. ; ☆ . says (8:42 AM):
hahahhhaaaaa i'll turn red
LOL

okay . says (8:43 AM):
nevermind we'll hide okay .
HAHAHAHAHA .

joey . 舞 ; popper (: identity. ; ☆ . says (8:43 AM):
ahahhahaha LOLLL
(:

okay . says (8:44 AM):
LOL .
omg don't let them kiss you on the lips okay i will scream also .
LOL .
LOL .
LOL .

joey . 舞 ; popper (: identity. ; ☆ . says (8:44 AM):
HAHAHAHAHA .

omg im so boreddddddddddddddd.
tutorial done in 45 mins .
and its like.
-.-

next lecture at 1pm.
till 2pm and im free till 6.-.-
how how how!

and I'VE GOT 10/10 FOR MY COMPANY LAW QUIZ !
dope shit.
(:

okay im bored.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

today's monday!
(:

brand new week.
lol.
-

yesterday's vetting was good heh .
saw the various items and i think all's good!
i like ann's one.
very nice.
and diana danced well!
(:
nice nice nice.
(:

and popping's dope.
hahaa.
as in everyone cheered for us.
i feel very happy too. (:
and according to diana,
the floor vibrated along with us
hhhaaaaaa(:

then popping training after that.
heh .
fun fun.
and LOL.
session is funny.
stupid alex and jer .
stop saying scary stuff to me.
-.-

oh and saw ryan with the SP dancers.
(:
he waved to me.
and that made me very happy.
haha .
ryan matters alot to me.
one of the instructors i wont forget.
(:

Floor the Love.
coming soon.
12 more days.
im worried.
and i need to be consistent with my freestyle.
zzz.
no more of what happened yesterday.
LOL.

upcoming performance for CSC on wednesday.
excited.
its been a while dancing openly in school.
(:

-

8th dec.
recital.
and it clashes with term test.
dope shit.
always like that!
LOL.

anyway,
going to school soon.
be back to blog more.
(: