i thought the above words are meaningful, so i posted it.

(:

isnt it pretty true?

like, words arent neccessarily the medium that could fully express ourselves.

heh.

its thursday.

time flies really really fast.

more activities are coming up, more work to do, and lesser time to rest.

heh.

suntec dance is coming up.

pretty excited bout it , because its been awhile since the previous one .

and one thing i liked bout suntec dance , is that you get to see the kids .

and weird routines.

like , the andy guy from last year.

lol.

im trying out solo this year.

not too much hope, i just thought it would be a challenge for me to dance alone .

its good , i guess.

to tell yourself that its time to move on , not hiding in people's shadows ,

and trying to hide your flaws.

heh.

but anyway, we shall see.

haha.

its really freaking me out.

=x

so far, everything is pretty smooth.
i just need time to catch up on my studies and stuff like that.
(:
as usual, suntec clashes with the main exams.
and even my SIP.
lol.

im gonna go off now.
suddenly lost the mood to write.
lol.
updates soon!

i really had a good dinner tonight .
duck , seafood , cajun chicken, thai chicken , salami pizza.
yum yum.
and uh not so nice erdinger beer.
at ,
Timbre.
(:

enjoyed the company .
felt so comfy with the people.
haha and yes we did weird things when we got high.
lol.

next round would be at 'essential brew!'
thursday, 7pm .
(:

blog more soon .
heh.

baby you have 888 posts .
LOL .
i love you .
(:
thankyou for the post on my blog .
was really sweet .
please stop being moody already kay ?
i'm here !
(: (:
stupid books .
always making you sad .
LOL .
yes yes i'm the one that peeped into your world right .
i'm a peeping tom .
hahahahahahaa .
I LOVE YOU .
no more heart aches !
(:

feeling very uneasy inside.

the heart aches.

sometimes , its good to read. the things in the book.. impacts you head on , leaving you breathless and with thoughts that fills up the whole head. never would i thought this book really leaves me with alot of questions about myself, about my current situation. and what position you really are in , to judge others.

in this society, two kinds of groups exists. the 'in' and the 'outcasts'. when you're in the 'in' group, what you might feel would be , you're in power, and the pride keeps growing and growing.

when you belong to the 'outcasts', all you ever wanted, is to be accepted and to fit in .

nobody chooses to be in which category they want. it just happens.

ever felt lost? like, you dont know whats your next step, how you're gonna face all the problems in your life? i do . all the time . every minute , every second. the inferiority complex kicks in.

ever had a boyfriend that leaves you thinking bout him all the time ? the moment you think of him leaving you.. it frightens you so much that you'll find all ways to tell him that you loved him ? i do.

ever thought of yourself unable to live without the presence of the love of your life? i do .

ever wondered how significant you are, to your friends and family?

ever wondered .. if anyone remembers you when you leave the world?

questions , questions and questions. insecurity . sometimes, people just dont get what life is in stored for them . dont they? i dont know.

feeling insignificant is a sign. of how much your friends cherish you. or in another words, your loved ones. you need two hands to clap. not one. but why does it seem like im always the one?

honestly, if there were no calls/messages from me .. would you notice my existence/inexistence?

sometimes, it really hurts to face all these. and when its time to face all these, the one thing i wanna do , is to shut myself out from this world. really.

and when i shut myself out of the world , i know i would be in peace and would be oblivious to everything around me .

its what i've been doing to myself all along. hiding my feelings, always having a ready-to-go smile on my face . i like that actually, because no one could really understand me inside. and thats where i felt safe, in my own world.

till one guy came along. and thats the only person i'd probably allow, to let him peep a lil, into my own world .



do people aknowledge my existence at all?

to me , thats a question i've been asking myself. for a very long time.

FUCKING CRAZY.

I WANNA BE LIKE THEM :(

super inspired.

Changes.

i think my entry is long today. penned it down on a piece of paper, so im just gonna write it all down.
(:

Ever wonder how you would realise that you've changed? the fact is , you dont ever realise it. its either having someone coming up to tell you that you've changed or just feel a lil different about yourself. it could happen during one fine day, or it could just swim across your mind .

today , there was a bible study going on in the library. specifically just opposite my table at the cafe. 2 girls. overheard the conversation because the lib's quiet. girl A was explaining the meaning of Thanksgiving. pretty interesting. lol. girl B was jotting down notes. what i assumed was, girl B's new to the religion . she gives out this weird vibe.. like she's skeptical bout the whole thing. i got kinda irritated at the start, when they arrived. girl B kept staring at me , like i've gotten some kind of disease. lol. i have no idea why , and i stared back . its the staring game. LOL.

so girl A started preaching. the meaning. i switched off my ipod and listened to her . (in a discreet manner of course.=p) its pretty true , like what she had mentioned. she said smth , bout you thanking God each time something good happens to you , or you're in high spirits but when it seemed like the sky is falling down , and everything is hitting rock bottom, you blame God and you complain. but just remember, when faced with difficulties, the more you should challenge yourself to overcome it instead of complaining and lamenting that God isnt helping. True?

though im not a Christian and its actually a lil uncomfortable to listen to their conversation, i cant deny that its actually true. anyway, i stopped at there. haha.
next was 2 kids. they were actually there before the 2 girls. kid A was hiding his mcflurry when he came. haha. he was like, putting it in his pocket or smth . lol. and then he sat down, after making sure the waitress couldnt see him . ate the icecream, oblivious to the fact that the ' no outside food/drinks allowed' sign was right in front of him. haha. kid B came , and placed two cans of coke on the table. Kid A continued with his ice cream and B with the coke. when the food came , kid A was trying hard to hide the ice cream beneath the table so that the waitress cant see. haha. but its useless of course. the waitress let him off, provided that he throws the can away . haha. so cute.(:

the cutest thing bout them was, kid B offered food to kid A, and it made me wonder if they're just friends , or siblings. its really really cute to see A burp loudly and both of them laughing their hearts out. such a heartwarming thing to watch actually. and somehow, it made me feel not so lonely. (:

this pretty sums up my day. lol. someone once said, deep thoughts run in chains.

waiting for my baby boy to wake up. poor boy, been up for his homework. :(

alright back to MLOCT.
sucks big time . BIGGG TIME.
=.=

ps. im here for you , shijie !(:

Friendship.

friends come and go, walk through your life, in and out .
your friends are there for you , some choose to stay , some choose to leave.
when you fall, they are there for you.
when you're happy, they share your joy.

ever wondered how it is like to have too many friends?
sometimes, forgetting one portion of your friends seemed to be alright.
because you have too many friends , till it doesnt matter to update friends that hardly keep in contact with you.
who is guilty of that?

everyone .

it takes two hands to clap. one could never be the giving party for long.
people gets tired. people wants to feel cherished.
but why is it that the word 'friend' feels so insignificant ?

some say , when you lose some things, you will never ever get it back.
friendships are fragile.
once you lose it , you will never get it back.
but , at the brink of losing everything,
theres still a flicker of hope at the end of the tunnel.
its up to you, to keep the flame alive.

but to me ?

it is already extinguished.
-

be thankful , and appreciate the friends that are always there.
and give yourself a pat on the back, for holding it there.
cheers to long lasting friendships, and mutual care and concern.

(:

As I'm standing here
And you hold my hand
Pull me towards you
And we start to dance
All around us
I see nobody
Here in silence
It's just you and me


have so much to say , but dont know where to start.
its always been like that, and will always be like that.

i guess the time of the month is coming.
with mood swings, and with weird cravings.
i eat most when im upset.

anyway,
life's mundane.
took a long break from dance this week.
i guess its a well deserved one.
and time to get back on track once again.

teenager crisis too.
like how i go about achieving my goals, and what my career would be , when im older.
scares me alot.

frank's celebration yesterday.
pretty fun , i must say.
he's so daring !
and im glad he enjoyed it .
we had fun watching too. (:

i miss the boyfriend.
everyone around me had a partner around yesterday , when i was heading home alone.
LOL.

mom went to get a tattoo today.
but the artist wasnt free.
LOL.

Harper's Island !
OMG SO EXCITING .
(:


school's tomorrow.
boring .
gonna study my ass off.
hahaa.

today's a very tiring , but yet sweet day .
(:

had breakfast with ally, and then to lecture .
headed to supreme court in the afternoon for field trip.
(:
its really really informative!
im starting to get jealous of those who's working in SAL and supreme court for SIP.

we got to look at pictures of dead bodies,
played with some video conferencing thingy.
and the BEST PART.
WE GOT TO ATTEND ONE OF THE ONGOING COURT OF APPEAL CASES !
i have never had my heart pounding so hard other than going on stage honestly.
and i got to see one of the CA judges.
his name always appear in the precedents.
LOL.
dope shit to the max.
(:

left, and met diana for movie !
'haunting in connecticut' is really a nice horror movie.
it isnt that scary , if you think of the ending .
(:
but it scared diana and i , alot of times.
LOL.=X

we had dinner at subway .
and the best part of the day's here.
(:
she gave me something by the boyfriend.
apparently sweetheart got her to give me our 1 yr present.
<3
i was really suprised.
hee hee.

to my sweetie :

i love you so much ! thank you for everything . i really really appreciate the effort.
(:
we'll last. i'll make sure.
(:

okay blog post done.
back to BABY !(:

(: Jim Beam and LYNETTE LOVE(:

its the 7th.
our one year.
12 months.

happy 7th.
wish we would get over this incident soon.

honestly, it isnt the happiest anniversary, but i still loved you.

being in a long distance relationship is tough.
no one ever said it was easy.

why am i waiting for someone that i've never even seen before?
because i love him , and i trusted him so much that i've never questioned bout his life.


why do i feel like the person that i trusted the most , doesnt trust me at all?

its only 2 days short of our one year.
and to think such an incident could either break or make us stronger.

i hope its the latter.

im sorry, but you really broke my heart this time.

i thought i've made the right decision in telling you.
but why does it seem like i made the wrong decision?

to me,
i dont think im at fault.
i did not initiate, neither did i allow.




neither did i cheat on you.

so, its been busy these few days training for jim beam and schoolwork.
lol.
with my grandma overseas, its harder for me .
had to go home, clean the house and head out again .
not that im complaining ,
but yeah , can get taxing .
lol.

yesterday was an eventful night.
my god.
its pretty scary though.
and yes , the amt of people going definitely matters.
ahaha.

i miss james .
=\
looking on the bright side,
the 7th is coming .
(:
ONE YEAR.
even though we cant be like other couples, heading out for dates,
im still happy with this guy.
heh.

gonna do some work now.
been procrastinating like mad.
bye !