feeling very uneasy inside.

the heart aches.

sometimes , its good to read. the things in the book.. impacts you head on , leaving you breathless and with thoughts that fills up the whole head. never would i thought this book really leaves me with alot of questions about myself, about my current situation. and what position you really are in , to judge others.

in this society, two kinds of groups exists. the 'in' and the 'outcasts'. when you're in the 'in' group, what you might feel would be , you're in power, and the pride keeps growing and growing.

when you belong to the 'outcasts', all you ever wanted, is to be accepted and to fit in .

nobody chooses to be in which category they want. it just happens.

ever felt lost? like, you dont know whats your next step, how you're gonna face all the problems in your life? i do . all the time . every minute , every second. the inferiority complex kicks in.

ever had a boyfriend that leaves you thinking bout him all the time ? the moment you think of him leaving you.. it frightens you so much that you'll find all ways to tell him that you loved him ? i do.

ever thought of yourself unable to live without the presence of the love of your life? i do .

ever wondered how significant you are, to your friends and family?

ever wondered .. if anyone remembers you when you leave the world?

questions , questions and questions. insecurity . sometimes, people just dont get what life is in stored for them . dont they? i dont know.

feeling insignificant is a sign. of how much your friends cherish you. or in another words, your loved ones. you need two hands to clap. not one. but why does it seem like im always the one?

honestly, if there were no calls/messages from me .. would you notice my existence/inexistence?

sometimes, it really hurts to face all these. and when its time to face all these, the one thing i wanna do , is to shut myself out from this world. really.

and when i shut myself out of the world , i know i would be in peace and would be oblivious to everything around me .

its what i've been doing to myself all along. hiding my feelings, always having a ready-to-go smile on my face . i like that actually, because no one could really understand me inside. and thats where i felt safe, in my own world.

till one guy came along. and thats the only person i'd probably allow, to let him peep a lil, into my own world .



do people aknowledge my existence at all?

to me , thats a question i've been asking myself. for a very long time.