funny funny world.
full of ironies , and contradicting stuff.

i think i know what im feeling.
probably.

i guess i need to overcome myself.
the mental block in me.
to tell myself.
everything would be alright.

i love self discoveries.
to find out more bout myself.
and i didnt know that im like this.
turning so negative.
self esteem going lower and lower.
lol.

im just stuck, at this point in dance life.
i dont know what to do.
how to get out of it and stuff.
and i need to open myself.

nevermind.
-

recital training's fun yesterday.
dope stuff.
and sessioned my ass off.
it helped though.
got me thinking again.

i think i wanna know what im good at.
i feel i suck.
everything.
am i even good at all?


zzz.
at home,
im always the last to know bout whats going on.
it occurred to me that i have a part to play.
but ,
where did all the love and concern go?
my back is hurting now,
and im alone in my room.
keeping quiet.

just what the fuck is going on?
nevermind.
bye.

this would probably be the lowest point on my life.
each time im picking myself up,
there are things throwing me off the rope im hanging on.
and now im thrown off the rope i've just got on.

i hate this.
-

recital training on saturday woke me up a little.
and made me understand certain stuff.

whenever we dance, we dont need a studio.
we dont need people to look at us.
we dance because we love it.
and not because of the commitments we have ,
or whatever expectations we are trying to hit.

the dance represents her.
on how she love dance.
and by not being showy for that dance.
doesnt matter whether u looked good or ugly.

i just need to groove for that piece.
why has it become so difficult all of a sudden?

i felt like crying in that class, and i burst after that.

feel stressed,
feel emotionally attached to that piece.
unable to get out of it.
my future.
how do i go about reaching my goals?
do i really want it?
but are there people helping me?
fucked up questions i cant even answer myself.

whats wrong with me?
why am i so problematic nowadays.
=\

the world comes crashing down ,
when u feel sucky and when ur facing sucky moments now.
its true.

the best part?

when i took a bus home to sort out my thoughts,
the bus broke down in tampines.
and when everyone , except a small grp of passengers were on board,
the bloody ass driver drove off with the small group of passengers on the bus.
is that even called vehicle broke down
.
-.-

its really.
annoying.

stop being so irritating, joey.
get a life.

booo .
joey's always busy with her dance dance dance .
and especially her pop pop pop .
so i shall be a nice boy and update for her .

YESTERDAY .
she reached home at 1:00 am .
( don't blame her it's always like this lol )
i think she danced the entire day .
cause she's doing some item for her juniors .
I THINK ONLY .
LOL .
anyway yes .
when i ask her how's her day .
she will reply me with " tiring . but fun as usual . "
then she'll ask me how's MY day .
and i'll reply her with " tiring . but not fun as usual . "
=p =p =p

okay to whoever is in her item please do a good job kay .
she stayed up till really late to mix songs for you guys .
( her late = 4am . and she has to be back in the studio at 9am . )
( and thankyou to dope meichin who helped her that night LOL . )
even though she's tired and sweaty .
sweaty , but not smelly kay !
i know she smells nice everyday hehehehe .
and raaaah she just sleeps very late .
plus she has her problems but she has to pretend nothing's wrong .
she continues teaching so that you guys can put up a good show .
worst of all ,
she talks to me so little ! ! ! !
EMO .
:(

don't make her sacrifice for nothing .
she's done her part .
it's your turn now , give it your best . heh .
i don't know when's it held but best of luck to you guys !

and that officially ends my post .
oh man i am so bored and falling asleep .
WHERE ARE YOU JOEY !?!
COME HOMEEEEEEEEEEEEE .
LOL .

john klass ; when things seems so wrong.

When you’re in doubt
Trying to keep all fears out
The tears you hide
You’ll only cry inside

Things happen for a reason
It isn’t easy to accept
You think all hope is gone
But it really hasn’t left

Chorus
*When things seem so wrong
You’ve got to hang on
Just pick up the pieces
And look right ahead
Don’t give up cause instead
Things aren’t so wrong

When the road ahead
Seems so uncertain
And all you do
Seems to crumble & fall

Troubles, they’ll come and go
Tho’ the mem’ries will last
If you stay right on hurtin’
Time will still pass .

this song is sent to me by a person whom showed me kindness.
teaching me things.
thanks(:

i've let go, cause im too tired to hang on.
but , i learnt to fall, and stand again.
(:

things will never be clear to the naked eye.
look closer.
come into my world.
and u'll understand.
if you're even interested.
lol.

im reaching 18 in dec.
and im still 17 +.
why is that i face so much?
probably more than what others at my age faces.
funny.


updates later.
probably.