currently listening to blondie ; heart of glass. heh. first song of the year !

feeling abit weird this morning.. not much bout the new year thing, but more of like.. i dont wanna bring forward 2009's nonsense to the new year. lol.

last year was a year full of regrets and negativity, with a little tinge of happiness here and there. what left me most dumbfounded and upset was probably because of nicole. things just went downhill for me after she left. =\

but, things like KO night made me really proud of myself. the trainings i went through , to make it to semis, its awesome. thanks jer. heh. and like i had fun towards the end of the year too. (not to mention the really bad parts of december) like, i had a very meaningful christmas eve, a wonderful christmas, and my birthday filled with things i love to do, and with my close friends too.

i have also realised many many bad parts of myself, and people who actually cared. they say, you hurt the people who care for you most, and you're always nice to the wrong persons. i guess thats true for me. hurt many people who cared and cared too much for people who dont. lol. one thing i've learnt through christmas, was that i shouldnt continue living in my tiny hole anymore. step out, know more people. be happy , most of all. (:

i guess my heart's still holding on to some stuff that i should probably let go, since its 2010 already. but no closure when you cant let go right? haha.

relationship wise, i guess i've been the bad person last year. although i tried hard too, i cant seem to satisfy both my friends and the boyfriend. our relationship is tough, and different like others. so if you dont understand our relationship, just keep quiet. hahhaha. things were rocky towards the end . and well, i dont know why but im having a bad feeling things wont work out. mmm. food for thought. should we or should we not? feelings wise, definitely a no change from me. i wonder what bout you. lol.

so moving on to this year,

im pretty determined to be someone better. after all, gonna hit the big '2' already , so might as well step up now. be more mature. less childish. LOL.

dance wise:

really really aiming to achieve something big. main events coming up are FTL and SDD (i hope) and of course TPDE GEMS 5. heh. really looking forward to it. heh. and i really aim to go overseas to pursue dance already. must achieve by this year. its a must !=x and of course more teaching opportunities and shows. heh.

friendship wise:

be more open minded, be more outgoing, no more living in the small hole ! dont reject people's offer unnecessarily. be less sensitive. (: guess sometimes i think, and care too much lol. i wanna get back friends that i had lost touch with. i wanna connect back with people i used to care alot for. (: and of course be a better friend to many who consider i am , to them. hee. especially my girls ! joyce grace maggie serkiat and lynette. will spend more time with you all!

character wise:

be less sensitive is top priority. haha. and be happier. still trying, but its tough. lol. less selfish? and give more to people. heh. less judgmental too. and to be more caring. lol=x also, more importantly, to love myself.

relationship wise:

definitely to treat the boyfriend better. been too selfish the past year. and to love him as much as i could.

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guess thats all. i definitely have much more new year resolutions but we'll see how it goes. (:
im gonna graduate this year , so gonna work hard for this last semester!

love to my baby, my friends and everyone. and to myself. heh.

<3