what the fuck.
i had the scariest dream in my life.
-.-

wtf wtffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff.
i went to research on it ,
and dreams dictionary showed me this.


Die

To dream that you die in your dream, symbolizes inner changes, transformation, self-discovery and positive development that is happening within you or in your life. Although such a dreams may bring about feelings of fear and anxiety, it is no cause for alarm and is often considered a positive symbol. Dreams of experiencing your own death usually means that big changes are ahead for you. You are moving on to new beginnings and leaving the past behind. These changes does not necessarily imply a negative turn of events. Metaphorically, dying can be seen as an end or a termination to your old ways and habits. So, dying does not always mean a physical death, but an ending of something.

On a negative note, to dream that you die may represent involvement in deeply painful relationships or unhealthy, destructive behaviors. You may feeling depressed or feel strangled by a situation or person in your waking life. Perhaps your mind is preoccupied with someone who is terminally ill or dying. Alternatively, you may be trying to get out of some obligation, responsibility or other situation.

To see someone dying in your dream, signifies that your feelings for that person are dead or that a significant change/loss is occurring in your relationship with that person. Alternatively, you may want to repress that aspect of yourself that is represented by the dying person.



and everyone knows im afraid of death.
fuck,
i saw myself die.
-.-
wtf wtf wtffffffffff.


zzz.

did a show for sony on wednesday.
interesting experience.
had fun , had insight of corporate world.
know things arent that simple as what you thought.
and all the little details here and there.

met oli , from funkamania.
came to be emcee for this show.
and nice people from sony like karina and roland.
people should get that mp3.
i think its good for us dancers, although the gb isnt that high .
-

i know im the cause of everything,
im the cause of your unhappiness,
im the cause of you being tired,
im the cause of everything unpleasant.
but all i wished,
is for you to be happy.
and maybe im not the one who could do that anymore.

giving up something you love , is heartwrenching.
makes your heart ache.
its like, giving up dancing to me .
i dont want that to happen ,
and i would gladly exchange for the thing that you loved,
for what you enjoyed, way before we met.
and im sorry , i cant be the one that could revive it,
although i really wished i was the one.


we're going against the flow for 9 months.
going against whatever thats coming to us .
time , distance , commitments.
and each time a month passes,
it marks something new , and relief for me .
and im glad.
because we still love each other.

now?
i dont know.
future?
i dont know.

i dont want to be a burden.

my heart feels so painful now.

i felt so much better now.
it seemed like i had a huge load of my shoulders.

today passed by slowly.
i couldnt really focus , while i was watching the movie,
i didnt have a really good appetite today.

all because of you.

sorry love.
for making you upset.

i love you very much .
smile for me ?
(:

and im glad james is better.
dont like arguing with him ,
cause the scary side of him surfaces.
and it frightens me .
LOL
.


anyway ,
i still love him .
haha.

(:

i dont know what to do.

thats why i chose to run away from it.