there are so much thoughts in my mind that i simply dont know where to start.

problems with family, relationship, myself..

but somehow whenever i wanna write it down , the thoughts always disappears.
zzz.

pastor Joakim once shared this with the congregation.
that, we must have forgiveness in our hearts , so that God can forgive us of our sins. for once, i really thought that i will forgive her. but its so difficult when there is no closure in the first place lol.

and he also shared the vision of evangelism.
and somehow i watched this show on tv today , bout some unfortunate people out there and how people from all over the country come together and help them .

there is this old lady who is so old , and is visually impaired. but instead of being all sappy bout it , she actually told the volunteers that she didnt want anything . she just wanna do something to help all the people out there. when i watched her episode on tv, it struck a chord in my heart. like how she is an Activist for God , (be it whatever her religion was) and there was just so much faith and hope in her that other people's lives would be better, if they looked forward in life like how she does. she's such a courageous woman , and i feel ashamed that i havent been helping the poor and needy. lol.

and sometimes people are just too busy to notice the small details that are going on in our lives. just like me , as i was sitting down at the couch to have breakfast, i didnt notice how happy my grandma can get when she talks on the phone with someone , i didnt notice how many boxes i actually have in the living room. all this just happens, when i had more time to spare .

actually i dont know whats the purpose in saying all those lol. i just feel like ranting away and i just need to talk to someone. but nobody's free so here i am , writing all these down lol.

im a sensitive person. i need to feel loved all the time because i never got that ever since my parents divorced. and when i get pushed to a corner, i will snap and shut everyone out .
so , dont blame me if i shut you out too. =x

okay nothing much to say already. lost the mood. lol.