joycelyn once told me bout the opposite joey that she fears.
and , i think the opposite joey is appearing .

many times i've asked myself,
what do i want from this .
i kept asking .
but i had no answer for it .
all i knew, was that im currently happy,
and thats all it matters.

life's realistic.
you either come prepared, or unprepared.
changes are inevitable.
ive never liked myself changing.
and im trying not to.

but.
do people look at the reasons , or the results to it ?

i've never wanted to hurt you.
never ever.
but if there are things i can alter,
i would.

people bear grudges to problems faced.
even if i've said okay.
but ask yourself.
is that really okay?
i dont know.

the irony of certain things.
makes you think, and wonder why is it like that.
no?

-
great. its 1 more day to KO night.
and my heart is aching.
not that its anyone's fault.
i know its mine.
and it always have been.


im beginning to hate myself even more.