im feeling weird weird again .
its so annoying, when this sudden feeling comes out of nowhere,
and literally punches you in the stomach .
and no ,
its not bout the period.
lol.

since training's suddenly cancelled today ,
i stayed at home .
finished up 'breaking dawn'.
heh .
and drifted in and out of sleep.
lol.

as usual,
the book made me think .
think of thoughts that are disturbing.
and the usual stuff that always bugs me .
sigh.
i wished we could be like the characters in the story too.
carefree, not bugged down by problems.
lol.

i remembered having this conversation with ryan yesterday, before training .
its funny . i was early, and i offered to get coffee for ryan .
he was really really tired ( and i think thats why he got a fever ), and we talked bout SYF,
bout random stuff, like money , war, and religion .
his digressing skills are superb. =x
and we both agreed on one point .
lol.
everything is about money .
and how true .
so, i asked him , what if money doesnt exist in this world?
and he started telling me that , its because of greed .
didnt answer my question but i understood , somehow.
lol.
-

i wish i could learn how to read people's eyes.
they say , its the windows to the soul.
i want to know how people are feeling ,
how people think .
its a good thing , i guess.
(:
-

i think everyone needs reassurance.
no matter how strong you are, how immuned you are to the environment and pressure.
its nice having someone come up to you, giving you a hug
or just saying something nice .
you never know you actually comforted a person in the midst of that act.
-

i dont have the privilege of having that someone beside me all the time .
sometimes, i feel cranky , i feel sad.
and all i wish , is for that someone to be there.
giving me a crushing hug like how joyce gives me .
but its tough .
i guess its pretty hard on him too.
and its slowing down..
heck .
why am i ranting .
lol.
maybe i need assurance.
hahaahaa.
-

its a long post today .
maybe i shouldnt stay home , after all.
my thoughts run wild.
:(
i wanna travel badly .
lol.
a short trip, anything .
time to clear the emotional baggage inside me .
=x
-

joyce and sk's leaving for their OSIP already .
lol.
hopefully they will be alright .
missing them as usual.
no more drinking sessions with joyce alreadyyyyyy zzzzz.
lol.
prolly a good thing im 18 .
haha.
-

waiting for james to come online .
i made him wait for 3 hours yesterday .
today's redemption day . haha.
and hopefully, he feels better.
(:

gonna go watch some movie , to kill time .
alright byeeeee.