FINALS .
SUNTEC DANCE 2008.
reVogue.
(:

the elation that we felt after the calling of our group.
its crazy.
we're the last grp to be called again .
lol.
the tears,
the sweat.
and the sacrifices.
.
dope.

'if you really want it, u WILL have it.'
i believed in this.
(:
-

these few days had been hell for me .
not about the trainings,
but things like how people dont understand me.
and all .
i dont know whats wrong with pursuing the things u love.
or the things that u knew you will continue on,
no matter what happens.
they dont give me love.
the assurance i need.

there are so many times i just sat down.
stare blankly into space.
and just feel like crying .

its not that i wanna come home late.
its not that all of you are not impt.
you only thought about urself.
have u thought about me?
like how im gonna cope.
whether im eating right, whether im doing well, having enough rest.
nothing.
none of this came out from you.
i come home, wash up, and pack up .
u didnt say anything .
u just stayed in your room.
all of you .

im choking inside.
the times when i really need you here for me.
you are not here.
im not blaming you .
i dont feel assured.
when i dont even feel loved from anyone.
u are the only one i have now.
i bet you dont know.
you dont know.

i envy people who have parents.
the love.
everything.
-

' can u come and watch me?
nope . im working .'

this reply came too many times.
till i gave up asking .
-

its a sunday .
when i woke up,
everyone's gone .
its raining like fuck.
-.-
-

im tired.
its okay.
nobody understands.
the love i need.

not the love friends give.
cause i have plenty from joyce, chin ,and many others.

but what i need is all of you .
and you .

-
my faith is swaying .
im questioning myself every now and then.
what do i believe in?
-

for a moment,
i felt my life's so screwed.


maybe i should disappear.
maybe i should be the one getting out.

my existence isnt significant anyway.