its been a long time since i blogged.
=\

i've got alot of things to say inside my heart.
but somehow, when i wanna put it down into words,
i find alot that i cant see to put it in words.
i wonder why.

this few weeks have been crazy.
running around looking for computers,
completing projects and all.
getting angry at ur teammates for not putting in enough effort.
and with dance at the back of ur mind.
somehow, its too much for me to bear.

i left with tort project now.
hopefully it will turn out good.
not forgettting jap either.
lol.

dance wise, i hope we will be rdy for HHN.
im actually v worried.
with out current situation.
but i hope it turns out fine.
joyce, dont forget out goals in joining the comp.
tts most impt.
tpde's training have been good.
i love it when i go oschool for training.
tts when i feel everyone's dancing together.
and NOT looking out for each other's toes when dancing in sch.
zzz.

i feel like i've grown.
like as in getting old.
i realise so much,
i've definitely become more realistic.

sometimes i hate myself.
because i cnt commit to my friend's activities.
hanging out with sam, andreas sometimes.
seems impossible to me.
its not that i wanna outcast myself.
its not because i dont like them.
its just..
i cant .
be it of studiowu
be it of projects
be it of family.

i really want to join them.
have fun and all.
its tough.
i dont think anyone understands.
at least for me.

its been inside my heart for a v long time.

to sam, andreas, kaiwen, kat, iris, bei.
im sorry when i couldnt join u guys for almost everything.
u guys might say its okay.
but its not to me.
anw, yes.
sorry.

i dunnoe la.
that is how i feel.

and sorry to alison too.
im always not there to join u aft sch.
im soryyy.



ah heck.
im feeling terrible.

i just need one to listen to me.
just someone.
i need to get it out.
now.