i cant stop crying.
i feel very stressed.

i hate going back to a home where my mind will start running wild.

i hate it.

and it doesnt help tt all my problems are coming all together.

where is the strong and determined joey now?

i really feel stressed

i really am.


and i cant stop crying.

dedicated to you.

i will miss how u always have the same warm ups and never changing it.
i will miss how u will always like to act slang.
i will miss how u always laugh at us when steps are difficult for us.
i will miss how u say ' good luck' to us when u assumed its difficult.
i will miss how u will always choreo ur steps super last min.
i will miss how u will go ' eh i dunnoe lei' when i asked u bout the song name.
i will miss how u will ask yn and sometimes me to rmb steps.
i will miss u saying ' single single double' and all the names of the warm ups.
i will miss u saying ' lets take it slowwwwww'.
i will miss hearing u drag the ' 5' beat and make it sound like a mosquito.
i will miss u saying ' catch the groove and feel the music'
i will miss the way u noticed my steps and telling me where i go wrong after class.
i will miss how u tell me tt i kept forgetting details.
i will miss how u will teach me steps tt i did wronng after class.
i will miss how u will video us during lesson and i'll go blank.
i will miss how u keep complaining bout how much u wanna sleep.
i will miss how u kept complaining bout your eye problem.

i will miss the moment when u came and hugged me and say ' good show!' just before my item.
i will miss the times where we ssg likes to make fun of u, saying ure emo and stuff.
i will miss how ssg keeps pestering u for bubble tea and ur standard reply would be 'next time'
i will miss all the lame and silly stuffs u did.

thanks for letting me noe where i have improved.
thanks for giving me pointers.
thanks for being such a nice instructor and friend whom i really felt comfortable to be with.

just.
thanks for everything.

i respect your decision in this matter and wherever you are now,
just remember tt me and ssg, will always be the ones supporting u and believing in your stand.
im sure everyone who understands you do.


its okay.
everything's over now.
u dun have to worry bout people not being able to understand u anymore.


we love u , uncle ishi.

we always do.

loves.
joey.

Create your own Friend Test here

http://www.truefriendtest.com/friendtest/638540

go and do it if u r confident enough.
hahaha.=D


anw POP AND LOCK LATER!=DDD


yayness!

waiting for class to end.=x

HAHAHAHHAHA=X

CAMWHOREEEEEEEE=D

i decided to tie plaits today.=DDD



this happened while waiting for POM lect to start.=x



im actually not listening. im trying to pop here! HAHAHA.=X



LOL!

this was meant to be funny. but not funny oready.=\




today was shitty.
MACROECONS was only like in 1/r hr la!
my god.
i feel so cheated.
we only study for 30 mins.-.-

then went to have lunch at sugarloaf ; new rest. at engine sch.=D

was intimidating when we entered.
cause its like, all the staff were free la.
and the moment u stepped in, all stared at you and say,
WELCOME TO SUGARLOAFFFFFFF~~~~~
LMAO!


anw after lunch wenta lib to slack b4 lcomm starts.
hmm. kinda okay lor.
well at least i learnt tt my grp members are only good in talking, but not writing.
except for eunice and me.-.-

then after tt was APEL.
alked bout emotions.
well, its kinda sensible to hear her talk bout this topic.
but i got irritated cause she insisted on being practical in love.
cause apparently she thinks tt love should be practical and involves not only the 2 person.
but oso everyone.
-.-
but nas said this which i tot was damn damn true.
' it doesnt matter how emotion is defined. its your own perception tt matters'
*salute in respect*

anw tt again brings me back to things which i dun wanna think bout.
like my r'ship.
but owell,
i dunnoe.
its just causing me misery for now.=\

after tt was choonhui's class.
damn fun.
easy choreo, but tricky groove.=DDD

anw we took vids of our choreo.
with the other regulars.=D
and oh yah.
tt nicole talked to me.
weirdos.-.-

nth much.
csa as usual, is sucky.
and good luck to me tml for tt stupid presentation.
LOL.
heck.
2 hrs only=D

okies.
vpop later.
REGGAE!
=DDD

pigs unite!=x





i cant see myself. wad a facade.=\


one moment im studying...



one moment i fell asleep in class!=\
and seriously. i really fell asleep.=x

joanne. joey. limin.

after the ZA beauty camp in studio.=D


aiyah.
fuck.
everything's not gg my way now.
im damn fucking sad.
and i cant stop using fuck,
because i really feel damn fucking low.
at this moment, all the things tts happening to me are just so wrong.
wtf.
im really feeling damn fucking depressed.
and nobody is able to fucking understand.
not even him who didnt even fucking ask if im okay.
tt even fucking upset me more.
FUCK.

u have never failed to make me upset.
why are u doing this to me?

i feel so damn fucking hurt.

crying seems to be the best option now.

now.

lesmates! =DDD




me and joyce.=DDD



this happens when we're too excited.=x

nice one!=DDD


today's class was like so damn good.
its really like i enjoyed the class.

and i really did full out, until im panting.=D

during latin hiphop.=DDDD


went to meet limin b4 gg to studio.
then chatted awhile with bessy b4 bryan arrive



LOL





he was home like the whole day la.


and then went in the room to read my book,






while limin plays her DS.






LOL.













after that, during class,

its so damn funny la.






its like he tried to act all jappy again



' class, okay des?' *with the super smiley face you picture on some stewardess*


LMAO.






=X






then today's choreo is damn nice



but the beat abit tricky.






nut the funny thing is oso, we can catch the beat, and sometimes, he cant.






LOL.






and he choreo de lor.-.-






its give it to me ; timbaland and nelly furtado.













hahaa. then we got picked out la.






i assumed its cause we can oso catch tt part,






which he cant occasionally.






LOL!






and he's oso panting when he did it thrice.






one with luke;






one with alex ;






and one with me, limin and 2 other girls.






LOL.=DDD













then after class,






iits super coincidental tt he and eat shit uses the same song.






LOL.






and waited for him to change b4 gg to take mrt together.






LOL






then bessy treated me to sweets lor.






and apparently, bryan like the sweets so much tt bessy gave him the whole box.-.-






LOL.













then crapped alot of stuffs,






iand he gave pointers to me again.






damn happy.






its like i now noe wad to focus on, and i think i can reach elites standard






IF i take note of wad the instructors, like bryan, eat shit and takopachi tells me.






=DDD













and he said i need more experience.






LOL.=\













tml's CSA proj.






seriously, im getting annoyed by CSA.






its causing so much probs.






wthhhhh.






AND.






CDS in the morning.






like wtf.






=\













but there is always...






POP AND LOCK TML!=DDDDDDDD













LMAO.



























ps. i LOVE MY GIRLS! i finally met them today. much misses.=DDD

sick sick and sick.

it all started with a flu which i tot was just plain running nose.

=.=

in the end, i started sneezing all the time

and i look like a ghost in farah's class on tues.

LOL.



then i was worse in bryan's class.

was burning.

LOL.

but aiyah.

reach home, fever subsided i guess.

LOL.



then today was okay la.

made breakfast for my grpmates

and did LSM proj all the way till afternn.

met limin at ard 3plus.

she do her work, and i read my cat lim's novels.

LOL.

then suddenly feel v sleepy.

so i just dropped on the table and fell asleep.

LOL.



after i woke up, i feel so much better.

but its kinda suprising tt i will just drop and sleep.

LOL.

so unlike me.=x



then class was okay la.

but all cause im not feeling well.

i feel i did not do full out during mtv.

saddening.=\



went home with bessy after tt.

yup.

nth much le.



anw hope i can see my girls tml la.

since im on super tight budget

LOL.



and i learnt smth new today from gen.

its all because of insecurities.

yeahs, tts the word to describe.=\

i simply love this song.
exactly portray how i feel.

i dont mean to be emo anyway.

apologize; one republic ft timbaland.

I’m holding on your rope
Got me ten feet off the ground
And I’m hearing what you say
But I just can’t make a sound
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down
But wait...You tell me that you’re sorry
Didn’t think I’d turn around and say..

That it’s too late to apologize,
it’s too lateI said it’s too late to apologize,
it’s too lateI’d take another chance,
take a fall, take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
(But that's nothing new)
Yeah yeahI loved you with a fire red, now it’s turning blue
And you say
Sorry like the angel heaven let me think was you
But I’m afraid

It’s too late to apologize, it’s too late
I said it’s too late to apologizes, it’s too late
Woahooo woah
It’s too late to apologize, it’s too late
I said it’s too late to apologize, it’s too late
I said it’s too late to apologize, yeah yeah
I said it’s too late to apologize, a yeah
I’m holding your rope
Got me ten feet off the ground...

ONE MONTH.

why dont i feel happy bout it?

=\


wad a way to celebrate it.

i have absolutely nothing to say.

bessy and me. BUTTER FACT!=D






finally. the person i wanted to take with since january 2007. BRYAN.=DDD


lol.
these 2 were from Butter Factory. LOL.
am super happy tt i can take pic w bryan la.
he still remained as my idol.=D

im currently feeling bored.
=\

though it seems like i've actually alot to do,
i feel lazy!
hahas.

next week would be full of projects la.
and well,
somehow i feel contented tt i get to dance the whole week.=DD
and i mean literally, dance the whole week away.=DDD

and my family seems to love chalets alot.
from fri-next mon, my aunt is holding a chalet.
and from next mon-fri , my another aunt is holding another chalet.
LOL!
its like checking in and out agn from one chalet to another.
super funny.
LOL!

but doubt i gg bah.
hahas.
can take advantage luh.
go home late and nobody at home will know.
cause all would be staying at the chalet.
LOL!.
and tt oso mean i can go for dance without worries=DDD

hmm.
one more week to sch reopens.
better start planning time properly.
if not sch reopen will be damn sian.
hahaa.=DDDD



pop and lock later.
hmm..
or rather, MTV and lock.
see how.=DDD


ps. i just remembered! cca starts tml for me! omg.=\

back to update.
LOL.
today class was fun as usual.
LOL.
takopachi is like siao siao.
plus suman seems nicer to me.=x

anw had dance workshop.
not exactly wad i expected.
but well,
i did last min choreo again.
hahah.

alison and limin went w me.
fun la.
though they didnt learn too.
hahaha.=x

but well, after awhile, realised the girls deproved.
due to too easy choreos given to them.
so when i throw them a choreo,
they died.
literally=x

aft tt wenta have lunch+dinner.
LOL.
and sat outside studio and wait for bessy to open door for us la.
LOL.
slack in studio b4 class starts.

anw, today suman's continuation damn nice.
i like it when i learn something new.
infinity and monestrie.
damn happy.
=D
and well, he did correct me in some steps.
just tt i feel damn paiseh when he called me out alone.=x
its exactly the same feeling when bryan asked me out alone.
LOL.
hmmm.
then nth much le la.
lol.

tml's jkpop in aftnn and vpop at night.
woooo.
so happy.
practically whole week dance.
just tt falling sick isnt tt good either.
i dun really feel tt well yet, but i still attend dance anw.=x
hmmm ...

left one more week to sch reopen.
super sian
LOL.
and..
i feel emo again.
LOL!

blog isnt ready. hahas.
=D

ytd night was fun in a way.
hahas.
butter factory.=DDD

anw, ytd was super tiring too.
i felt like i'v never sweat for like a zillion years.
and..
only doing carol's warm ups lei.
i sweat like shit oready.
then after tt was fusion hh by choonhui.
my god.
so diff from taki larr.
but im happy tt i can catch the steps.=D
must tell takopachi to upgrade his adv beg.
its like 2 different adv beg man.
LOL.

after tt went back home with limin to get rdy.
and reached butter factory ard 745pm.
alot of chitchatting,
and bryan was super funny.=D
LOL.
then carol gave us a postcard as a gift la.
so sweet lor.=D

then later limin cant take the smoke,
so we went off.
with ks, kj.
after awhile,
met ivan and yz.
ahhaha.
then walked all the way back to raffles.
LOL.
but its fun larrr.
reached home at 140am.
lol.

anw,
i finally took pics with bryan.
LOL.
hahahaa.
well,
butter factory would be more fun if the dance floor is open.
jhahaa.

anw,
am, gg out.
be back later to post.=D

okays.

enough of depressing stuff.

well..

today's end of term test week!

=DDD



all the tests were okie.

just tt POM sucked.

and prolly LCOMM too.=x

POM is really jialat.

think i would qualify for a supp paper if there is any.

=\



LCOMM today was not tt easy.

maybe a marginal pass bah.

LOL.

and ferlin's attire today is so different!

he changed hairstyle.

when we saw him we were actually like,

'eh who's tt?'

well, this time during the test,

he didnt use the airplane signal anymore.

instead, he used PRISON BREAK.



' please be reminded that u have 10 more mins.

no prison break at the moment and pls stay rooted to ur seat

until i ask u to leave.'



=.=



anw, after tt wenta TM to get my contacts and had small chat

with shijie, eunice and louis.

hahas.

had fun looking for office wear and stuff.

=D



hols are here. well, its gonna be 2 busy weeks!

project work, dance and socialising!=DDD

hahaha i wanna do a proper criminal law presentation.

hope we dun screw up when we see ferlin for tut again.=x



anw, yay!

gonna go back to GVSS for dance workshop held by me.

LOL.

1pm-5pm. ; nextwed.

anybody interested? haha

guess i'll teach hiphop and reggae =DDD



later would be pop and lock.

unless i decided to go for MTV if i miss ishi alot.

shall see.

anw, everyone would be there today. fun fun.=DDD

stared at blogger for like 20 mins.
and i realised i dunnoe wad to pend down.

sad.=\
wad a facade im putting on.=\

why dont u understand wad im trying to say?
every min, every moment.
all i can do is to suffer in silence.
while u still do not know wad exactly i want from you.

hurt is all i feel.
empty shallow and negative.
but.
letting go will never become an option.

sadness.

tts all.

alison and me=DDD


POPPERS!=DDD


ks and me=DDD





POPPERS! prince jack.=DDD



EVOKE IS OVER!=\







haha.



somehow feel relieved and yet sad at the same time.



its just a great experience for me.



im sure everyone does too.=D







this 2 days are damn fun la.



cant exactly describe to u guys how i felt.



but it will definitely be etched in my mind the things i've gone thru for evoke.=D







the poppers are definitely one of the people i will nvr forget la.



so damn fun with them.



but yeahs.



time passes quickly.=\







the rehearsals and stuff...



the elite grp and people in my act.



all damn fun la!=D







how i wish it will not end all so soon.=\







now back to studying and taking lessons in studio.



super sian la.



im supposed to study now and i cant concentrate can.=\



all in my mind is evoke and evoke.=x



LOL.







just want to say,



thanks to the people who showed concern for me


and elites who gave me pointers on performance.


LOL.

and definitely michael.=DDD



loves.



joey.=DDD



















ps.



to poppers ; love u guys!=DDD