it started out as a really better-than-normal day.
after dinner, everything went bad.
just tell me , why do bad things always happen to me ?

its not my fault,
i dont take sides.
why is it that after 18 years, you still dont understand me ?
am i that difficult to read?
or is it that you dont even bother to?

i hate crying after every single shit like this happens.
i hate crying over the fact that i get accused/misunderstood.

apparently you dont know me.
after 18 years.

you know nuts bout my life.

i want this so badly now.

LOL. its been a week since i've blogged. so busy , so tired everyday.

i haven been dancing for a week already. felt so weird, like its so not me ! i wanna dance after work, but its becoming so tiring . i have no idea why its like that.

work is so far so good. just very busy and occupied. been doing my work like ive been asked to. lol. oh and i went to court yesterday. pretty boring actually but its fun (: learnt more and saw new stuff. (: going back on friday again for judgment. yayyyy.

been heading home after work everyday for this week. it felt so weird. like, no aim no nothing. the only thing i wanna go home for is baby . nothing else. but when we talk, time passes fast and its back to the same old routine again. i really hope sip ends really soon. cant take it .=x

so its a saturday afternoon . wanted to head out to watch movie with ally and shijie but i guess i'll give it a miss. shall stay home, relax abit and have some 'me' time.

candy's leaving in a week's time ! omg work's gonna get worse than now. SIGH.

APPENDIX D(:

its been a long process with this group of people. heh . many arguments , many disappointments with different people and of course many fun times with each other. heh. its all over now though. im happy that its over because ive learnt , and i know more bout what im lacking of and what i need to improve on. and seeing so many talents out there really enforces the fact that i really need to buck up and improve.

im thankful to each and every one in the group that made the finals possible , i thank for all the support and encouragment each one gave to each other. it does not mean that we're weak. im sure we'll be going to battlegrounds sooner or later. its just a matter of time. (:

i believe that its a fucked up week especially for andy and me , but its all over now. no more training after work, no more squeezing and racing against time to get to smu or tp anymore. and no more smelly people on bus 857 anymore. lol.

its all back to training once again . need to start thinking bout my directions again. what am i looking for now, what do i wanna achieve once again. withdrawal symptoms are here. lol. upcoming events would be FTL and funkamania. lol.

i desperately wanna leave this place and start training like crazy without having to worry bout anything. i wanna succeed , i wanna be good. i dont wanna be stuck in a rut, being stagnant and constantly getting compared with others. i just wanna dance and achieve what i aimed for. i dont wanna get a C when i can aim for an A.

honestly, there are alot of insecurities and unhappiness inside me . somehow when i want to pen it down here , i have to think bout alot of factors. so tiring. i know im not happy and nothing's helping.

i must learn not to be too sensitive. strangely, im not like that in the past. i wonder what happened.

i want some time to myself. to think, to revaluate .

-

zzz i feel so sucky ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh why why why wtf wtffffffffffff. neh neh so irritatinggggggg i feeel like ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh basketball bitches bastards wtfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff okay continue later..

wtfffffffffffffffffffff.....=.=

its the finals later omggg.
im so nervous and worried and scared right now.
confidence was shattered just now while marking the stage sigh.

im thankful for the chance to dance with this group of people i dont dance with all the time.
and i believe that we've been through alot of shit esp this week.
lol.

i hope for the best.

-

and to you.

im not upset. if you're really tired, just go.

i feel like crap now.