its tiring having to keep ur hopes high, and being strong at the same time,
and just when u thought everything is going well for u again,

everything just sinked.

dropped.

maybe its just me.
or that, i care too much.

im not sure myself either.

anw.
depressing stuffs would always be around.
wth.
-

results wasnt that good.
i kind of expected it cause my heart wasnt in the paper when i did it.
so yah.
im just glad i passed every single shit.
yeahs.

and
performance is coming up.
friday is already the full dress and marking of stage.
AND.
i haven complete the formations and stuff.
HOW NICE.

hmmm.
actually i oso got think of ah.
as in like.
why am i recruited into RHR in the first place.
do i really belong there?
or there are other reasons bringing me in to the group.
=\

had a nice chat with nel ytd night.
i felt so much better.
cause i noe im telling my stuffs to a person whom i trust alot.
and that he feels like a older bro to me.
and of course,
his craps and jokes never fail to me happy.
at least for a while.
yeahs.
-

im struggling to stay strong.
and i must have faith.

yes.

faith.

im finally back.
LOL.

had a rough time the past week.
LOL.
alot of probs, both in family and in dance.
and i guess its my time management that is creating all the probs.
but then again.
i have so much things to do.
how to spend time with family right.-.-

hmmm.
anw.
its just saddening to see ur loved ones misunderstand u tt much.
to a point whereby they really pushes you up to the wall.
and i dun think any explaination would work on them.
because everything you say would just be pure self defense.
isnt it?

and friends out there,
i understand u guys are trying to help me tide over this rough time.
thanks alot.
i appreciate it.
but i guess...
the prob isnt so simple as i tot it was.

all along,
i tot daddy was the one who really understood me .
after wad happened with the divorce and everything.
tot it bonded us together.
but just cause of my own passion,
things changed.

is it so difficult to do wad i like most?
put urself in my shoes.
if one day,
ure supposed to choose one.
daddy or dance.
wad would u do?
would u really dare to choose one?

im just living everyday as it is.
no plans, no nth.
just day by day.
and i dun feel anything anymore.
the excitement and the looking forward to a brand new day.
sounds cliche?
tts how i feel.

well,
im equally confused.
wad am i supposed to look forward to?
i dunnoe.
all i noe is to get out of the house once my dad leaves the house for work.
and dance till night where i will go home, have dinner and await the next day.
wad a routine.
-

dance wise.
everything's fine.
popping is good.
popping course is good.
hiphop is good.
i dunnoe.
maybe i need to improve.
once my perf. are over, i would be back at studio taking sheila's classes.

and speaking bout perf,
i will be having performances coming up.

tamp SA perf. ; RHR and !Chaotic Soul collaboration
23rd sept 3-5pm.

children's home ; TPDE mini musical
28th sept 7-915pm.

and oh yah.
i suddenly rmb of popping course grad night.
22 oct.
yeahs.

so will try to update soon.
yeahs.
peace.

feeling tired and sore.

nobody understands.

expectations and expectations.

tired, battered, falling.

struggling to survive.

struggling to meet expectations.

mistakes.

alot.

major, minor.

misunderstandings.
being accused.

hurt.
sad.
bitter.

light?
where?
cant see.

darkness?
yes.
all around.
can see?
definitely.
how nice.

pull me down?
yes.
cant survive.

tts it.
enough.

LOL.
tml's pop course!
my god.
im seriously damn excited can.
this whole week is gonna be filled with dance.
so happy.=D

anw.
watched ratatouille today.
nice show.
but the show's so family oriented.
all i hear were screams of children before the start of the show.
haha.
damn funny.=D

then walked ard..
had dinner and went back home.
not really much today.


hmm.
my com is still under repair man.
so yah.
will still be using daddy's lappy.
lol.

oh and talking bout sat hor.
met up with !chaotic soul to finish my part of the hiphop choreo.
LOL.
expected.
everyone else was late.
how nice.
haha.

taught quite a number of 8's man.
and quite glad tt everyone could catch in a short time.
but just damn tired cause i taught the choreo again and again to people who came late.
hahahaa.
=D

okay la.
anw.
gtg sleep.
tml is long day=D