from now on, i will not trust anyone anymore.

not even if you're my dad.

the sytem; choreographer's ball.

TPDE GEM 5.

two big major events amidst the unhappiness.

update soonnnnnn.

its showtime tomorrow.

usually, you would be here to give me my goodluck kiss and to ease all my nervousness.

but.

you're not here this time.

james, where are you?

come back to me please.

im dying inside. finding all ways to self destruct.

but you're not here.

i mean every single word i say .

please come back.

please.

my world came crashing down after you left.
come back to me since you cant live without me baby.



because i cant live without you too.

i will wait for you.

and i've never stopped loving you.

i feel so fucked up inside, its eating me up slowly.

sorry for the temporary solution. it helped me to sleep somehow.

concert's over. shall blog bout that next time.

feeling fucked up and bothered all inside. not a good thing.
its not easy trusting someone. but i trust people so easily, it blocks my vision off everything else.
people say im naive, people say im stupid .
i like to think that i believe in people. giving them chances.

but did u give me a chance?
i finally understood what it meant by not given a second chance.
it sucked really bad.

you said you dont know me anymore.
well, i dont think i know you anymore too.
and u said i was cheap. wow.
in your eyes, im cheap.


im cheap.

i've always held on to the faith that i'll see you soon , and i really have a boyfriend.

now i dont .

ever wondered why im distant? why u feel like i dont love you?

i felt like you were angry and upset with me over every single thing.

like today, i just wanted to stay abit longer and thats bout it.

but no, you got upset.

its fine, maybe its my fault.

but you used fuck you on me?

you never used it.

and you just broke my heart again.

but then again, its my fault.

its always my fault.

its concert day.

i feel different. no kiss , no happiness.
why?


we can only communicate through words.
if you cant feel me or believe me ,
how do we survive?

its slowly fading away.
every single thing and memory.


i guess we've both forgotten.

i really am sorry.

my eyes are really tired.. look like some freak now.

goodnight world. 3 more days to concert.

im always at fault.

although i dont express and speak that often, i hope you do know.

i need you as much as you need me.

i've been running away , from it.

i dont know if u realised.

tell me how to come back to you.

how do we fix things thats already broken?

happy 7th btw baby.

i really dont know why is it so difficult to be like the past.

everything so sweet and positive.