i find it really funny that how people can say that the girl/guy is his/her love or like, the only one for him/her and when they break up and proceed to find another partner, they say the same stuff. lol.

how many times can we say that? i find it all so contradicting , and weird. like, with our current partner we can say that we love that person and he/she is the only girl or guy for me but in the end when things turn ugly.. it doesnt work this way already right? lol. just a random thought. heh.

fucked up morninggggg. zzz okay actually i cried a little cause it got so overwhelming. imagine coming to office and then you see your boss already at your desk writing some stuff and then she proceeds to tell you like , all the amendments to be done by today . and she piled the work on your desk and for a moment , it feels like i cant take it anymore.-.- and she said that i wasnt focused. like wow, how can i not make mistakes when i had so much work to do and the secretary isnt really helpful. lol.

the afternoon was much better though. went for nice lunch , and came back to clear the leftover work and im pretty much free from 4 plus pm . lol.

SIP is tiring me out . im deproving in dance. i suck . =\ i dont think i even dance as well as last time anymore. sigh.

hope everything will get better for me . i wish i could fly to LA now and stay there for as long as i like. mm or maybe not even come back. really.


gonna rest awhile before the boyfriend comes. miss that boy so much . :(

i love this photo. when will it be my turn?=x
joyce's birthday celebration!

stupid working area=x

yeah yeah yeah (:

omg seriously seriously need to wake up .

things to do : earn money . go to LA. go to Japan. go and dance dance dance. be an instructor.

zzz.
wake up joey!
not good enough ! zzzz.

andye j ( in grey) check asaki out ! the girl wearing the checker shirt. i like her!

mari's new piece !

touching pieces. dope.

-

i really hate everything now. having to endure all this shit , listen to things that i dont wanna hear, facing the person that i've grown to detest. all this built up shit . its crap , everything's crappy. i hate heading home early. i hate it when she starts nagging at me . i hate it whenever she tries to approach me but end up nagging at things even when im not wrong or anything. i dont care if it sounds minor or just listening to the angsty side of me , but how bad do you think it can get , when i even fucking dream of her nagging at me in my dreams? its that bad and its most of the time . so fucking dread everything.

took the bus home today. saw this small kid with his mom. wonders how its like when im young . whether i had the same treatment as the small kid . apparently not . and it caused so much hatred and sadness inside. why do i keep to myself? why i feel reserved when i dance? i kept things inside. how do i even let it all out? it might just drown myself. i dont know.

each time you made me feel like giving up. make me feel that its better to leave . you never fail to push me down and make me all upset whenever you're around. just leave me alone please? is it that difficult to understand? you made me talk less at home . you made me close up. you were the one who caused me not wanting to talk at home. everything started because of you.

dont make me hate you. be it you nag for my own good or whatever. i'll just plug into my ipod whenever you talk. is that what you want? even when i cant hear you, you're still nagging away. awesome. good job.

i have so much inside me . its all because of you and the fucked up family. seriously.

dont talk to me.