post to myself.

haven't been blogging much.
am so tired every single day . honestly its tough handling SIP and dance together.
with work everyday, waking up at bloody 6am . its freaking tough.

i miss james, i missed talking long with him.
all i could do, is just to come home, talk for like 30 mins with him before i go. and i have to endure all the shit in the morning and night before his precious 30 mins with me.

and im feeling damn fucked up over issues and issues that ive been trying to get over it. it always surfaces. and stop fucking make me feel im being ignored. honestly. stop making me feel insignificant.

whatever.

and i broke down today while waiting for the bus alone at the bus stop. you all have no freaking idea how tired, how lonely i felt at that moment because u guys have your partners around so in case i get compared , im just ranting here.

whatever again. im just gonna go off now. fuck .

ps. i get really cranky when i dont have enough sleep so just ignore this post.

im sorry for everything . if that makes you feel better baby.

oh man i feel so . . . :(

SIP

its finally friday. its been a pretty intense 3 days in SIP. not that its bad, but i think im adapting to it pretty well. sounds bimbotic, but i've learnt to fax, print, scan documents , edit letters that's non related to what we've studied in school. and my boss is definitely kind enough to throw me so much work till it feels like time passes really fast every single day. oh and she made me feel like i've been there for at least a week . LOL. did i mention that she's leaving for UK tomorrow for a week ? =p

although the working environment isnt exactly v enjoyable, im still thankful for the boss's secretary for being so friendly to me after a day of warming up , and the 3 other coursemates ! i meet vanny every morning to go to work together, we go for lunch together and its so fun talking to each other bout the day and the people around us. pretty exciting stuff. (:

on the other hand , there are interesting figures in the law firm. like eccentric lawyers, pretty but not very nice secretaries and very friendly and helpful staff ! and a very funny accent-lawyer. i laugh to myself each time he speaks.=x my boss is very hip. me like !

on the other hand, the period's here. somehow theres no PMS this month . but i feel the emotional stuff coming during the period. sigh. i feel sucky now actually. like i feel terrible bout the state my boyfriend's in and yet im so fucking helpless . and how i felt bout everything. im just trying to keep it all inside. hopefully it will go away soon.

feel irritated, feel sad, feel that im very independent and strong even though i talk to james for like only 2 hrs a day. feel fucking hurt cause i have a boyfriend but he's not beside me like how joyce and frank , sam and kw , nicole and hazrul are so into each other. not your fault, love if you're reading this. argh i think im just ranting shit.

its so draining after work. i've never slept on a bus till i almost fell off my seat. lol. but its cool. everything's cool.

i love my baby. hope we're strong enough to get over this obstacle now. :(