i came to sch for nth!
hahahaha.

supposedly proj consultation.
but sian diao.
we nvr book appointment with her~
LOL.

hmmm

HAPPY NEW YR EVERYONE!

WAHAHAA.:)

OH MY GOD.

I CAME TO SCH FOR NOTHING.

AHHHHHHHH!



SIANNNNNNNNNNN

TMD.

im fucking disappointed.
lucky my bday is over.
wouldnt wan my bday to be stained with her defences and all.

seriously, you just reflect and look at the tone ure setting in the email.
ure just defending , but not EXPLAINING.
so much for the 2 yr friendship, really.

till this pt, u dont get wads we r trying to get across.
i dont fucking care whether you cant make it or wad.
its the reasons tt u came up with.
tt states it all.
its so bloody annoying.

-

for her, its 5 yrs of friendship with you.
imagine her pain.
her tears.
thanks so much for the new yr present.
we love it so much.
damn you.

if u think ure maligned or we dont respect you.
ASK YOURSELF.
repspect us not?

got boyfriend den keep sticking with boyfriend.
got probs den come find us.
its in our hearts all along.
we nvr say only.
why?
cause we stil cherished u as our friend.
our love.
but NOE WAD?

ITS OVER.

the xmas dinner i made. -.- LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

birthday pictures=D

thanks everyone for the wishes and celebrations.:)

i feel v loved. thanks loads!

and haha. gonna blog more soon.

tml training at 9am LOL.

and special thanks to : ( in no part. order.)

my loves,

my girls,

SSG,

RHR

dope gang

studiowu gang

and those whom i tot u wouldnt rmb my birthday but u actually did.

and the rest.=D

thanks again!=D

xmas is here. :)

recapping on xmas eve. =D

met with my girls for movie and steamboat.
haha.
the 'warlords' is nice.
and gory. but owell.
takeshi is damn hsome man! hahaa.

met with grace and joyce first.
had loads of fun w them.
and thanks for the present joyce:)

got off at bugis, and den bought tickets.
was suprised tt my bday present was
an all paid expenses for the day.
wahhaha.=x
so they paid for my food and all. :)

it wasnt a v happy celebration cause of certain stuffs i heard and i feel la.
but anw having grace and joyce here is enuff for me.
there is a difference to a 10 yr long friendship, and a 2 yr one, apparently.

and to the bloody guy who is checking up on my blog,
u noe who u r .
go ahead and control ur girlfriend.
tell her all ur comments bout me, and question wadever u want bout me to her.
FIRSTLY, ITS NONE OF UR BUSINESS.
2nd, wad rights do u have in talking bout me.
fuck you.
shut up if u dunnoe how much DANCE is to me.
and continue to BRAINWASH HER ALL U WANT.
cause u noe wad?
i dont fucking CARE.

and to the GIRLFRIEND.

im super disappointed in you.
all along i tot we were close.
just because of him
u tot about me in a different light?
wad bout all the standing up for you,
and the times where i listen to ur probs?
i dint noe u were tt 'grateful'.
seemingly ur memory is so FANTASTIC.
tt u actually forgot all ur close friends,
and in your mind there is only HIM.
fine go ahead.
from the day where i noe u did and think all those stuff.
u r not LONGER my close friend.
and dont think im the only one thinking like tt.
go ask the rest.
and REFLECT.
im only this short of hurling abuses at you.
u try me.

-

okay. back to xmas eve.
LOL.
kinda rmb the stuffs tt were unpleasant.
and sigh.
cant be bothered.=\
hmmm.
we went for pasta and had donuts for dessert.
LOL.
had fun sitting near the foutain of wealth, talking and taking pics.
it doesnt matter how they celebrate my bday.
its the thought and sincerity tt counts to me.

i dont mind having no cake,
no celebration,
not many people w me during bday.
its the sincerity.
i hope the GIRLFRIEND noes.-.-

anw xmas this ys was great.
went out with family.
and its been ages since i went out w dad.
went to ubin. sort of nature retreat.
haha.
and had fun, exploring.
went to chek jawa.
and peaceful plase, w beautiful scenery.
i like.:)
saw wild boar oso. ahhaa.

went to DTE afterwards.
dunnoe wad to do, so i decided everyone head home, while i go supermarket and prepare dinner.
the adults can play MJ.=D
lol.
oh btw my aunt and family friend was there too.

so did dinner for 9 persons.
spaghetti, soup, garlic bread, salad, vegetables, tofu and meat.
and yoghurt for dessert.
ahha.=D
had fun preparing dinner too.
LOL.
and damn it la.
back ache returns.
and totally killed me ytrd. almost cried of the pain.=\

gonna post pics later or smth.
haha.

hmm.
den now im in sch doing proj.
like zzz.
and afterwards is TPDE party! haha.
not v excited cause seems like not many people would be there.
siannn.
lol.

yeahs.
tml is the day im 17.
somehow, i dont feel anything.
not excited oso...

MORE PICS LATERRRRRR

tired. sleep first!

and oh.

MERRY X'MAS EVERYONE! :)

dance training was cancelled today for tpde to take a rest. :(

but.

tt doesnt mean im not dancing today!
muwahahahhahaaa.=x

went to studio for st jazz.=D
and BBOY.=DDD

feeling v gutsy ma. hahaa.

no larrr.
wanted to take 3 classes today.

hiphop, st jazz, and bboy.

but like nobody take hiphop w me.
so went for st jazz.
and heard caleb taking over freestyle!
so the more i wanna go.=D

st jazz was okay.
the remixed version of sexyback was DOPE.=D
and of course the choreo too.
haha.

den was freestyle.
initially was contemplating,
cause we will be taking 90 mins of bboy.
but den i liked caleb's style.
so =D

and he taught lyrical today!
like omgggggg.
haha.
it was damn nice man.
and haha.
i dunnoe if i caught the feel,
but i managed all the milking well.=D

after tt went bboying~
alif's damn nice man.
he was damn patient and stuff.
and i assumed he was suprised to see new students.
LOL.

leant marching cross arm and open arm,
top rock,
no hand footwork,
'salsa twist'
and loads more.

ooh!
and we learnt how to do air freeze oso!
so exciting larrr!
and drops too.=D

while we're doing, we kept laughing lar.
and den he kept saying;
'dont laugh! later got stomach cramp!'
haha.
so sweet la.
and he was v encouraging too.=D
and last part of lesson was stretching.
damn nice.
cause he was the anchor person.
meanin he and one of us have to stand back to back,
while he grab our hand,
and he tilt us over until hand is on the floor,
and then we roll over.
and its like the backward flip la.
imagine him having to lift so many people, over different weights.
dope.=D

and i guess i will be attending his class man~=D
-
went to sec sch's modern dance bbq.
supposedly a farewell for seniors.
but yeahs
haha.
went for awhile and left.
why? cause it rained damn heavily.
LOL.
but saw the girls.
and its heartening to see them, working hard together
to cook food for the seniors and all.
and even when i reach,
one of them came over just to pass me a drink.
this is wad i call respect :)
and they even offered us food time to time, while the seniors chatted among themselves.
haha missed those days.=\


tml's 23rd of dec.
2 more days to x'mas.
and 4 more days to 17.
i wonder if there is any difference to being 17..
LOL.

okay.
gtg.
ciao!=D

okay im finally back to blog.
haha.
=D

hmmmm looking back at dance camp. :)

on tuesday,
we had the normal stuffs.
like registration upon reaching, ice-breaking games and all.
den we oso had training with gin.
haha.
and i liked the idea of like learning abit of all the genres of dance.
she did breaking first, taught by weiqiang,
den popping by danny and me
den locking by danny
den reggae by sam and raaz
den krumping by herself
den house by her too.=D

i swear i was highest during tt period of time=D

den she started spiltting us into grps and all.
practised awhile
den we headed for dinner.
and next was modern.=D

modern was fun though.
although the song was creepy enuff to scare us out.=x
it was this song tt made us feel as thou someone passed away.
haha.
and hmm.
okay la.=D

tt night, we slept outside TAC, the koi pond area.
and i can tell you.
sleeping on the 'car' tt golfers use to drive ard the range
simply sucked.
i wake up having a aching back.
-.-

the next day,
we had warm up by gin
and haha.
she mad us run one rd of the track.
it was damn scary when suddenly got this girl zoom past me and i tot she's someone else.
and den when she ran past me, she laughed.
and im like.
STUNNED.
haha.

training later for the various grps.
and i went to train on turns and stuffs.
haha.
den we went back for training.

she got pissed off for us not making an effort to train.
but yeahs.
its most of us.
but we still did our stuffs thou.
den she asked me one question..

' joey, wad is dance to you?"

imagine all the eyes on you, as u go bright red la.
hmm.
i said passion, because i didnt dare to say its my LIFE.
i just recalled back to those days where i argued w my family over dance.
and even abandoning all the times i can have w them
just to go for dance.
i even rmb tt i attended choonhui's class w a high fever of 39 degrees.
and came out of class all giddy.-.-
this are some of the sacrifices i made.

owell.=\
went home soon aft, and had dinner w meichin joyce and frank.
-

thursday was terrible.
there were some misunderstanding bout hanging out with my girls.
and yeahs.
i tot all along we were supposed to meet on the 24th.
LOL.
but yeahs=\
-

today was training day.
went to sch, supposedly early.
but den the bloody bus 15 BROKE DOWN
LIKE OMGWTFBBQ.-.-
and den we stood at the roadside like a moron.
and its as though the tyres are gonna burst into flames.
with all the smoke coming out
and burning rubber=\
LOL.

learnt the choreo to my item.
and haha.
was damn fun la.
=D
hmm.
slacked more and cleaned up steps again and again.
HAHA.

so it was smth like tt for the past few days.
and hmm.

i learnt alot even though dance camp is only 2 days.
more about the people, like vanessa which i nvr talked to before,
habits tt TPDE has,
and loads more.
and wads most,
is dance itself.
questioning myself
bout the attitude i have for dance.
=D

okay.
gonna go.
LOL.
and hahahahaaa.
6 more days to birthday.
WHICH HAPPENS TO FALL ON
training day.
haha.
-.-

ciao!

WILL BE BACK TO BLOG ON WED/THURS.

TPDE DANCE CAMP!=D

bye=D

gigi torres! =DDD
PATRICK CHEN! he's sooo hot!=X
POPPERS=DDD
joanna and me=D
caleb!=D






and so.





code edge is over.
project element is over.
and dance2xs instructors are back to LA.


=\





code edge compy ytd was a blast.
i never had tt kind of fun even though im just a performer.
and its really like,
people from all places came to take part in this compy.
from NUS to our own studiowu!
and its nice to see so many talented dancers ard.
their choreo, their concepts, and its
really amazing.


yes.=D





of course, the dance2xs instructors are great!
even though i didnt attend the workshop, i feel that their are friendly people,
willing to share and just give u a smile even they dont rmb u or smth.=D
gigi's pretty, patrick's hot, and daniel's charming=D




performance ytd by all the grps were great.
i esp enjoyed marcus, bryan, takopachi's solo.
super like.=D
and of course, lafuse,yakuza,d'ato,F2H.

hese people are really talented.





well,
it made me think of when it would be my turn to be up on stage,as a contestant, and not a performer.


=D
and seeing the dance2xs people made me want to work hard and join them in LA one day.
not an impossible dream, but i believe it will come thru=D
inspired, rather.=D


-
i have alot to improve.
LOL.
and i believe i will make it one day=D
haha.


-

gin, raaz, sam and jasmine was there thou!
i felt happy, when gin called me.
its like,
yeahs although its just a greeting,
but i feel happy.=D






dance camp is coming.
would take this time to improve alot.
and yeahs.
reach the standard that i always wanted to achieve.
go joey.=D

KITE=D

HANDSOME RIGHTTTTTT=D

lol.
cause okay fine.
i admit.
i was bored
and i fiddled around the net
and then i rmb wad yizheng say bout kite
having myspace and all
and out of curiousity
and wadever nots
i went to myspace
found him on the 24th page of 'kite'
and v excitedly
msg him
and added him as a friend
and voila
the next morning he replied me
and he asked me to tell him some stuff of our 'gubye
dance scene'(as quoted from terence)
and then i told him
but i had to leave for rehearsal
and den after replying him
and i went for rehearsal
until like 9 plus where i came home
and then i switched on my com
and den i immediately went to check my mail for new updates on myspace
and he actually replied me oready!
omgym damn bloody freaking happy
and he said he was
v happy because he talked to me!
LIKE OMG.
really damn bloody happy.
=DDD
-

okay think of me as saying all that in one breath.
LOL!
hahaa.
really blooody happy.
my god.
can faint any moment.
LOL!

today rehearsal wasnt tt bad.
just tt we were abit confused and mixed up.
but im sure we will do much better tml,
being more refreshed.
=D
and.
hmmmm.
nvm
LOL.

'its time to show ur love for skeet~~
its time to get dowwwnnnnnnnnn~

WAHAHAHAHAHHAAA
okay madness.
popping madness.
LOL!-.-

ytd was tort paper.
very happy cause i can do the paper la.
haha=D
im like the way i did my econs paper in sem 1.
laughing my way to the bank man.
LOL!=X

after tt slack ard b4 heading to shereen's house=D
haha.
damn long journey.
but was fun la.
haha=D

her hse's damn big,
her family is so nice
and her dinner is damn bloody nice too.
=D

watched 30days and nights in her hse.
wasnt scary at all.
so dont watch it if u planning to.
cause abit like wasting money.
=x

then talked alot.
slacked den went home.
LOL.
bloody shagged la.
-.-
-

later would be heading to studio!
ahaa.
gonna study abit of lcomm today
and study more tml.
after which would be freeeeeeeee~
LOL.

had many activities up oso la.
dance camp is coming!
and alot of other stuffs which i forgot.
LOL.

nth much le.
tts all.=D

upload photos laterrrr
haha=D

im feeling so much already.
hahaa.
no more sad sad posts.
=D

just so happen that i did alot of thinking on sunday,
when im studying alone at raffles mac.=D

i realised it doesnt matter if a person is yours or wadever.
as long he/she is happy, tts all.
be happy for he/she, and u realise that u will feel v happy too.=D
i was smiling, as i was came to think bout it.
and yes,
im really smiling.
for sure.=D
-

sunday was dance in morning for me.=D
and OMG.

i saw gigi torres, patrick chen and lee daniel from dance 2xs!

they reached spore oready, and they went to studio.=D
the first thing i tot of was, WOW.=D
can u imagine?
its like seeing ur idol man!
haha.
and patrick chen is HOT=X
seriously.
haha.

me and limin was like,
' shall we sit ABIT LONGER?'
ahahahaa.
and we sat there till like 145pm,
where class ends at 1.
-.-
LOL.

after tt wenta study.
and -.-
i saw freeman there.
he act shifted his seat la.
its like, im not gonna eat him anw.
LOL.
-

monday ;

today was econs paper.
isnt tt bad la.
but i guessed i would fail by abit thou.=x
seriously.
and hmmm.
went to study w shereen and alison aft tt.
=D

max came to join us,
and we studied tort till like 7 plus.
LOL.
had fun though=D
hmmm.

would be a busy week ahead though.
rehearsals in studio for 3 consecutive days,
after which would be perf day=D
and haha.
damn shuang.
LOL.
okay la.

ahahaa.
and lucks to everyone taking paper=D
including the poppers oso.
LOL.


gtg back to TORT.-.-
bye.=D

seems like its not raining that heavily anymore for the past few days.

well, the feeling just come and goes.
like rain.
really.
-

had jap presentation on thurs.
was good, cause i dont really feel stressed.
LOL.
the rest of the class is good man. seriously.=D
bryan's routine was initially difficult. but manahed the feel in the end.=D

friday was tiring.
crim law was disappointing.
oh well, wad can we say. LOL
headed to studio afterwards.
code edge heats were gg on.
LOL.

popping was fun.
love the choreo.
so creepy.
and watched the heats before gg for popping rehearsal.

will be performing item for code edge.
and yeahs.
popping.=D

im so tired.

my plan on sat and sun would be ;

sat ; study in the morning, dance in afternn, study at night.
sun ; dance in morning, study from afternn to night.
haha. hope i will stick to this.=x

oh yah. and the poppers are damn lame.

' eh joey u do the *shows mr bean's fav action* move, den i give u this lego keychain from osaka'

' eh do lei! all poppers have the keychain. u must earn it u noe?'

' eh just one time. den we record it down and put ; ' joey, tpde popper doing unglam action!' '

MY GOD.

boys, are boys. never change.-.-

and lol. in the end i get the keychain though. wahaha=x
without doing anything of those.=D

okay sleep time.
update tml.
LOL.

ps. i FINALLY saw terence up close!
and i SWEAR THE HIGH CUT I INITIALLY WANTED TO BUY, HE'S WEARING IT!=D


=.=

as quoted by meichin.

when have u seen the sun not coming out after rain?
its just that in my case, it rains longer.

i hope it does stop.
but for now,
its still raining.

heavily.

im sorry for all the 'emo' posts that u guys see in my blog.
LOL.
somehow, i find myself being shrouded by darkness and gloom.
tts why all the sad posts start coming out.
and guess i must say it out la.
in case i burst one day
and find myself suicidal.
tt would be bad, isnt it?
:)

things arent really gg too well for me currently.
despite all the encouragements from friends,
i find myself dropping deeper.
inside my heart,
i yearn for the happiness tt was once inside me.
i feel miserable.
i really do.

its painful when u find people not being able to understand wad u are gg through.
and worse still,
when u tried to share,
u find yourself holding back.
worried.
bout people not getting the picture.
worried.
bout people not listening to you.
worried.
bout burdening people with your problems.
worried.
bout people talking bout their probs when u r supposed to share yours.

im very tired.
mentally.
to the extent of crying anywhere i am while im listening to sad songs
and thinking bout my problems.
this is not me in the past.
but its me, for now.
the present.

what a fine line.
bet. emo and sad.
im not emo.
im just....

sad.

i cried today.
why?
problems.
all comes at the same time.
too much for me to bear.

i dont know who to relate to.
is there someone out there willing to listen to me?
to offer me a shoulder?

i know you, who's reading my post.
you might be saying you can listen to me .
in your heart.

but are you really sure?
its tiring to hear people say yes.
when the next thing you noe,
they might be talking bout their own probs.
i mean in general.

i guess this is life.
sigh.
i guess i feel better writing this out.
i guess so.

yes.

sian sian SIANNNNNNN.

same old prob.
this time stated by caleb.

NO FEELING WHEN I DANCE TO SLOW SONGS.


WHERES THE FEELING?!

-.-

and thanks,
that made me feel worse den i oready had.
zzzz.